Of Love and Trust
by quigely
Summary: Chase and Cameron- Marriage, Angst, Sadness, Happiness, Adult topics, and Smut... Very Chameron. R&R please!
1. Distance

Ok, so this is my first fanfic ever! Don't be mean :) hehe. Hope you like it. I have more written and plan to write even more if people are at all interested.

***

Cameron was sitting in an empty room, near the nurse's station filling out some paper work when he finally spotted her. He inhaled and exhaled slowly watching her from a distance. They had been married for just over two months now, and Chase couldn't help but feeling something was already wrong between them. Over the past week they had been on completely separate schedules. He had come down on his lunch break each day during the week to find that she had already taken hers, or claiming that she couldn't get away.

It's not that he doubted how hard she was working. He could see in the lines under her eyes how tired she was. Every night she was either asleep when he got home, or she would fall asleep before he managed to finish brushing his teeth. He knew he too well though to know that being tired and overworked was the whole story. She was defiantly hiding something from him.

"How long of you been standing there?" she said slightly taken aback when she exited the room to find him standing there staring at her, or rather starring into space.

He let out a small smile and sigh. "Long enough to realize how tired I am and how much I want to go home and crawl into bed with you," he said moving forward to put his arms around her waist, stealing a kiss. She pulled back a little embarrassed from the show of affection in the middle of the ER. Yes, they were married... but still, there were patients and other staff around.

"I can't leave yet. We have a couple of sick nurses, so I have to stay to help out."

"You have to? Or you want to?" He asked eyeing her suspiciously.

"Is there a difference? I'm needed here. That's all that matters." He didn't look convinced.

Seeing the needy looking on his face she ignored her own rule and leaned forward and kissed him softly, but passionately. This only made him want more. They hadn't had sex in over a week, and frankly, all day he was having visions of undressing her and caressing her naked body against his own. "Look I have my car here anyways, I promise not to stay to long".

"Dr. Cameron!" one of the nurses called. Cameron gave Chase a small smile and turned on her heels towards the nurse that was calling her.

Chase stood for another moment as he watched her go and tend to a patient feeling dejected.

*****

About 20 minutes later Chase was on his way home when he stopped to get gas for his car, when he realized her forgot his wallet in his locker. At least he was pre-paying and hadn't already filled his car. After cursing out loud and getting a dirty look from an old lady, he picked up his cell to leave a message for Cameron at the nurse's station so she could grab it for him before she left for the night.

"Dr. Cameron has gone home for the night," the nurse told him.

"Are you sure? She said she was staying to help out, not long ago."

"I'm Sure Dr. Chase. She said she couldn't stay that something important came up, and to call another doctor that's on call." Chase thanked her and hung up, smiling to himself. She changed her mind and was coming home after all. He decided to stop and buy her some flowers to surprise her when she got home, but then cursed out loud again, realizing he still didn't have his wallet.

*****

When Chase got home he took out a bottle of wine and a couple of glasses. He lit a couple of the candles Cameron liked to keep around and sat down to watch television until she got home.

The time passed slowly, and Chase kept glancing at the clock, shifting uncomfortably. It was now almost midnight. _Where was she?_ It had been over an hour since the nurse said she left. He picked up the phone and called her cell, but it rang several times before going to voice mail. He didn't bother to leave a message. He put the wine away.

He stood up and went over to the window to glance outside. He was getting downright nervous. He started to bite the inside of his cheeks. _Maybe she was too tired to drive and something happened..._ He went back to the couch and sat watching the news trying not to think at all. He had to wait it out.

*****

Chase was awoken by the sound of the phone and he quickly picked it up, glancing at the clock. 1:03 Am. "Hello?" he said quickly.

"Hey, sorry I got held up at the hospital. I just saw that you called. I'm on my way home." Chase was silent, however, confused and dumbstruck by what she just said.

"Robert?"

"Ya... Are you still at the hospital now?" he wanted to hear he reaction. ..."Because I left my wallet and..."

"I already left" she jumped in quickly. "I'll see you soon, ok? Don't wait up".

Chase hung up the phone slowly, got up and blew out the candles, sitting back down on the couch.

***

When Cameron got home Chase was still sitting on the couch watching, or rather not watching television.

"You didn't have to wait up for me," she gave him a small smile as she walked into their bedroom.

Chase stood up abruptly, straightening his back, and pulling his head back a little trying to hold in his emotions before following her into the bedroom. He was beginning to feel slightly overwhelmed by confusion, anger, sadness... _God!_ Even he wasn't sure what he was feeling towards her at this moment.

"What's going on with you?" he asked from the doorway, leaning against the frame.

"Nothing? What do you mean?" she frowned slightly. "I'm just going to take a shower. I'm gross from the ER," she eyed him carefully. "What makes you think something is going on...?"

He shrugged and walked into the closet to get something to change into.

***

When Chase heard the water start in the bathroom, he went over and sat down on their bed. His heart was actually aching with the realization that something was going on. She was lying to him. Again. Just like when she postponed their getaway, right before he was going to propose. He looked at her the bathroom door and then went over to her purse and searched through it pulling out her cell phone. He looked at the recent calls, but only his number was on it. He dropped it back in. He then saw the receipt from a diner he didn't know. It wasn't for much, but still. Why would she hide this from him?

He felt a bolt of electricity go through his heart, right down into his stomach when the thought came to him that she was cheating on him. It seemed to make sense. Especially the lack of sex. Usually she couldn't get enough, jumping him for quickies at work, or as soon as he walked in the door. Over the past week she suddenly lost interest with him altogether. She was getting it somewhere else... He felt like he could punch his fist through the wall.

***

Cameron turned on the shower but didn't get in right away. She was totally oblivious to the odd behaviour Chase was giving her. She had too much else on her mind.  
Opening the box she managed to sneak into the bathroom under her robe, she took out the little stick and looked at it, biting her lip.

Once the test was complete, she wrapped it in a tissue and placed it in a drawer and got in the shower.

She had been mulling over doing this test all week. At first when she realized she missed her period she was terrified. The thought of being pregnant only two months into their marriage was very frightening to her. She could barely figure out her own emotions, so she avoided Chase as much as she could.

However, tonight she spent a better part of the night in the maternity ward watching the small babies, before going to a diner to have coffee... decaf, just in case. She was getting older, and it seemed there was no reason that a pregnancy wouldn't be an amazing joy to their life right now.

A pang of guilt hit her that she lied to Chase about working tonight, but she needed to be ok with this before she looked at the test, whatever it may be... and before she told him. She knew he would be ecstatic, and she wanted to make sure she could share in his joy. Sighing as she washed her hair, the image of telling Chase made her smile.

When she got out of the shower she couldn't seem to bring herself to look at the test. If it was indeed negative now, after toying with the idea all week, it might break her.


	2. Confusion

Ok, Here's Chapter two. Hope you like it. It's so different from where I started. Hope you like it. I appreciate all comments, as I am a first time writter!

**********************

Cameron exited the bathroom wrapped in her robe to find Chase sitting on the edge of the bed. Her smile faded when she saw that his face was red and he looked like he was fuming.

"Look, I'm sorry," she started. His head shot up immediately. There was no way she was going to admit to an affair that quickly... right? He felt suddenly nauseated. When he didn't say anything she continued. "I know I've been un-available all week... and I can tell you're mad about me staying tonight." She began to dress.

He let out an uncomfortable laugh.

"Why is that funny" she glared putting her hands on her hips.

"It's not funny at all" he said while he looked at her straight in the eyes, causing her to shift uncomfortably. "You don't know why I'm mad?" Chase laughed slightly, not looking at her.

"What do you mean?"

He got up and walked over to her only inches between their faces. "Tell me then... I didn't ask you how work was tonight" he said lightening up a bit too suddenly for her liking.

She was silent.

"I know Allison. How could you try to hide this from me? Didn't you think I would find out?"

She looked at the broken expression on his face. How could he possibly know she thought she was pregnant? _She _didn't even know for sure if she was. Maybe he or someone else saw her buying the pregnancy test?

" How... how did you...?"

"I called the hospital to ask you to bring me my wallet. They told me you left right after I did. That you weren't at work. So where did you go Allison? Who were you with?"

"I... was nowhere special. I just needed time to myself, to think things through. I needed to decide what I want from this situation before I talked to you about it. But how did you find out?"

Chase looked like she had slapped him. "What you want?" he stammered in disbelief ignoring her question about how he knew. Just because he knew she wasn't at work didn't explain _how_ he knew.

"I never meant for you to find out this way! I swear I was going to tell you soon!" her eyes were glistening with tears now, and the thoughts she had just moments before of him being thrilled with the idea of a baby together were shattered.

"Well who is it?" he asked in disbelief at her forthcoming reaction to the argument.

"What do you mean who?" Cameron turned her head to the side trying to figure out what he was talking about. She used the back of hand to wipe her tears.

"Who the hell are you fucking then? It's House isn't it?"

A millions thoughts raced through her head so jumbled, until she realized what was going on. She began to laugh.

"Why the fuck are you laughing?" he demanded throwing his hands up in the air.

She took a few steps forward until her face was so close to his, she could feel his warm breath. She could also feel him trying to pull back. "Are you insane?" she managed to get out, now more seriously, realizing his obvious lack of trust in her. "You think I'm cheating on you?"

"You are unbelievable! You just admitted it to me! You're calling _me_ insane?"

He was scrunching his face now, and his accent was so strong in his anger that she was almost having trouble understanding him.

"I'm not cheating on you. I swear Robert... sometimes your jealousy truly shocks me. I really thought we were talking about something different. "

The calmness in her voice only confused him more.

"How do I know you're telling the truth now and not trying to protect yourself?"

"Right. Maybe because I'm your wife," she threw at him a little more annoyed now. "I do love you... or at least I did until I walked into this from the bathroom."

Chase breathed out heavily realizing that he needed to calm down now. "So you're not sleeping with..."

Cameron cut him off. "If you say House, I will never sleep with _you_ again". Even though it was not a time for joking she couldn't help herself.

"Well someone else then... I don't know. I found a receipt in your purse," he admitted.

"You went through my purse? God Robert. It was a receipt for coffee. But damn, you caught me. It's Taub. I've changed my mind. I'm no longer attracted to tall, strong, blond attractive men with accents like you. I've switched to the short, balding, married type. Sucks for you doesn't it?" she asked sarcastically rolling her eyes.

She didn't even pause for his reaction but went to the closet to finish changing and took down the first bag she saw and quickly threw in some clothes. "I'm going to stay somewhere else tonight. Call me when you settle down and you want to talk rationally." She turned and walked out of the room, but not before glancing at Chase and shaking her head.

***

Cameron stopped outside their condo door. She had no intention of actually leaving. She looked at her watch to see what time it was. She estimated it wouldn't be too long before he came running out the door to stop her from leaving.

***

Chase dropped onto the bed and slammed the palm of his hand to his forehead. _I am such an idiot._ He couldn't believe he had let himself be overcome with such jealousy that he would react like that without even giving her a chance to explain her actions. Now there was no way she was going to open up to him with the thoughts that had made her want to retreat into being alone in the first place.

He knew this whole reaction was very out of character for him. _What's wrong with me?_ _She's my __**wi**_**fe**. He grinded his teeth while at the same time realizing that he had to stop her before she left, and realized what an idiot he was truly being. He bolted out of the room and out of the front door, not even pausing to close it, and almost didn't realize that she was leaning against the wall opposite their door.

When he did stop he turned slowly towards her and smirked.

"Not bad! Only 4 minutes..." she said looking at his face intently.

"I'm so sorry... I'm such an ass".

"Ya, you really are "she said stopping to bite her lip before continuing. "I'm sorry I lied to you about working. I just needed some time to myself, and didn't want you to feel it was an escape from you. I never meant for this to happen."

She motioned slightly with her arms for him to come forward. He walked into her embrace like a scolded child, resting his chin on her shoulder and breathing in her scent.

"Just so you know..." she had a more serious tone so he pulled back to look her in the eyes, "not that there will be, but next time I won't be waiting outside the door for you. I love you, and I need you to trust me. I will talk to you when I am ready."

He gave her a small smile, and the raise of his eyebrows let her know that he wouldn't be so stupid as to ever make the same mistake twice.

"Or if you do bring it up, I suggest you have pictures to prove it." She joked. Chase didn't look amused.

"Too soon to joke?" she asked smirking. He let out a small smile and leaned forward to kiss her.


	3. Forget

Ok, so this is my first attempt at a smutty scene. Exciting isn't it?  
Enjoy! Thanks to those who have reviewed! Keep them coming! It really is encouragement to write more!

***Ch. 3

By this time it was well after 3am, but neither Chase nor Cameron could sleep. The tensions from earlier in the evening were still swarming around them. They both laid in bed, silent until this point.

"Something is still bothering me," Chase said quietly, not wanting to upset his wife too much. He knew he was going to be walking a thin line for a while.

"Mmm?" she replied through the dark next to him in bed.

"Have I done something to make you upset?"

"No, this has nothing to do with you..." Well that was a lie... he was possibly the father of her baby, obviously it had to do with him.

"And you won't tell me what's wrong?"

Cameron didn't reply. She turned on her side to face him and stroked his cheek with her hand. She could feel the stubble that he had got in the habit of keeping around, much to her discontent.

"I just want to be there for you if you need me."

"It's not something bad... and I will tell you soon... but not tonight. I don't want anything to follow this night. I just want to forget what just happened."

"I don't think I could ever forget what a jerk I was to you..."

"I bet I can make you forget..." She said her warm breath tickling his neck. She heard Chase swallow. "It's been a bit longer than we normally go huh?" She was now running her long nails down his neck. He began to shift his hips. Bringing her mouth to his they kissed, but while it started off soft and loving it quickly turned into more of a need. A need to be close to each other.

Chase rolled over so he was on top of her, straddling her hips. He leaned back breaking their kissing, so she could pull off the tank top she was wearing. He brought both of his hands to her breast, and his thumbs began to circle her nipples. She let out a soft moan, and he smile into her lips as he felt her nipples hardening under his touch. He could feel his hardness throbbing against her, and had to resist the urge to rip off both their clothes and push into her right away.

His kisses left her lips and began to trace up her neck. He inhaled her smell. He wanted all of her at this very moment, and he couldn't get enough, no matter how close he was to her, or how many kisses he delivered. "You smell so goddamn good. I want all of you," he moaned.

Stopping to look in her eyes he couldn't believe he had accused her of being with another man. It was so obvious the way she lost herself in his gaze that she wanted him... and only him.

"I love you," she breathed into his ear, causing a new sensation to rush through him. He paused, as he lost himself in her voice.

Her hands reached up to caress his back and moved down to his bottom, squeezing it, sending him back into action. He moved his kisses back to her neck, stopping to nibble her ear lobe. He took his tongue and ran it up along the length of her ear leaving a wet trail, and then blew a cold breath down over the wet, sending shivers down her spine, and through her hips. She thrust her hips upwards, causing him to repeat the motion. She moaned louder. "Oh my god Robert!"

He smirked. "I've been daydreaming of this all week. I want you so bad Ali".

She smiled as she slid her hands down the elastic of his boxers and tried to push them off over his hips. He got up quickly and pushed them off, getting back into bed, not wanting to be away from her warm body for a second longer than her had to.

He went to move back on top of her, but she was quick to grab his wrist and stop him while she climbed on top of him. He didn't resist as she slid her kisses down his chest and slid her lips down each of his thighs being careful to avoid touching his hardness that was throbbing for attention. She continued this teasing routine, down one thigh, up the other. She was gazing up at him and was enjoying the discomfort that she saw on his face.

"Ali, you're killing me!" He begged. She responded by sticking out the edge of her tongue and softly touching the head of his penis.

He moaned. She pulled her tongue back.

She took her hands and grabbed at his hips and ran them up along his sides, just watching him squirm. When she was satisfied that he couldn't take anymore she quickly took him into her mouth deep throating him while at the same time gently squeezing his balls with her free hand.

"Holy shit Allison!" he practically screamed. He couldn't keep his hips steady. He was practically convulsing with pleasure. He reached down and managed to cup her breasts in his hands, only adding to his pleasure. He loved how they felt. How they fit perfectly in the palm of his hands.

She thrust him in and out of her mouth letting his head hit the back of her throat, tongue caressing him, while running her fingers around his balls, squeezing gently.

"Ali... you have to stop... It's been over a week... I'm gonna cum too fast... get a condom" he pleaded. But the look in her eyes told him she had no intention of stopping. Reluctantly, but only just so, he laid back and relaxed.

She tightened the suction around his cock and within seconds he began to moan louder, as he exploded in the back of her throat. She didn't let go while he thrust his hips forwards as his penis jerked its warm juices into her throat. Finally when he collapsed exhausted she pulled off of him and slid upwards to rest her head on his bare chest. "That was..." but he didn't finish the thought. His heavy breathing said it all. Allison smiled.

When he was able to regain focus from the best blow job he had probably ever had, he slid his free hand down her body, but her hand grabbed him to stop him before he could slip into her pants.

"What's wrong?" he asked slightly taken aback. Since when did his Allison not want to get off?

"I'm just exhausted. I don't think I would even be able to cum right now." All she was thinking about was the pregnancy test that was still hidden in the bathroom.

He didn't know what to say to that. "Umm, ok," was all he managed.

"Can I take a rain check?"

He nodded and smiled down at her, even though he was actually saddened by her not wanting him right now. Part of his own pleasure was watching hers, as she breathed and begged for him. He could practically get off by hearing her moan his name, like it was the only word she knew.

They lay in silence and when she felt his breathing even out and she was sure he had quietly slipped into sleep, she slid from his grasp. She picked up her discarded shirt and put it on entering the bathroom, gently closing the door. She opened the drawer and retrieved the tissue that contained the test. She inhaled deeply as she closed her eyes and unwrapped the test. Slowly exhaling she peeked one eye down at the test to see the word "pregnant" clearly written on the stick. Her other eye popped open, and a smile spread across her face.


	4. Lunch Time?

Thanks again to those who have reviewed. I really appreciate whatever comment you make!

Enjoy somemore smut :)

Ch. 4--

The next day when Chase finished up a rather routine surgery he walked out of the OR to find Cameron waiting for him.

"Hey," he said smiling happy to find her waiting for him. He leaned in to give her a kiss. "Have time to get some lunch?" he asked as he pulled back from her warm lips.

She nodded, smiling and took his hand leading him down the hall. However, right before they got to the cafeteria she took a different turn. "Allison, the cafeteria is the other way..." he said confused.

"I know."

The next thing he knew she had pulled him into a rather familiar supply closet and locked the door. They had definitely learned their lesson about locks and doors at work.

She turned to face him and leaned back against the door, a rather suggestive smirk spread across her face.

"Here? Now?" Chase couldn't help but smile. He really shouldn't act surprised by this type of thing anymore. He could already feel himself growing hard beneath his scrubs at the thought of pressing his body against hers. He moved forward in one quick step and pressed his lips against hers. Not wasting any time he slipped his hands under the back of her shirt reaching for her bra clasp, undoing it with one hand.

Her hands came up and held on to the back of his head as she ran her fingers through his hair. She let out a gasp when she felt him pinch her nipple.

Moving his lips to bite and suck on her neck, he reached for her hips and lifted her onto the small table that was against the opposite wall. He lifted his arms and she tugged his scrub shirt over his head, discarding it on the floor. She began to run her hands all over his chest, sliding them to his back and pulling him even closer to her, between her spread legs.

She pulled back from him, pulling off her scrub shirt and letting her already undone bra slip to the floor, and without missing a beat, rewrapped her arms around him. When she reached for the draw string on his pants Chase caught her hand. "Not so fast, it's my turn".

He lowered his hand between her legs and pushed his fingers tights against her, rubbing back and forth causing her to moan. Cameron, who did not like waiting, reached down to untie her pants, and Chase assisted by lifting her slightly off of the table so she could push them and her underwear off. Letting her gently resume her position on the table, he squatted down until he was at level and spread her lips with his fingers. She was already calling his name in anticipation.

He slid two fingers slowly inside of her, feeling her already flowing juices and warmth.

"Robert..." she moaned. That was all he needed to hear. He smiled and leaned forward letting his tongue flick her clit. She brought her legs up and rested them on his shoulders. He continued to circle her clit with his tongue and every few circles, he would flick and then press hard causing her to gasp and thrust her hips forward towards him.

"I want more Robbie," she begged urging him to press harder and faster onto her. Although it was slightly awkward he managed to reach up and squeeze one her nipples, rubbing his fingers over the top, on her most sensitive spot.

"I'm... gonna... cum..." she gasped and within a couple more seconds she had to bite her lip to keep from screaming out loud, as she came. Chase didn't let up right away causing her to convulse and thrust forward quickly from the sensitivity of her clit.

Cameron took her legs down and urged him to stand up, pulling him closer towards her. She quickly undid his pant ties and watched them fall to his ankles pushing his boxers down in the same direction. This time he did not put up a fight. He leaned forward and kissed her on the lips briefly before moving to her neck again.

"I want you, in me," she whispered so softly and sensually, he got goose bumps as a chill ran through his spine.

"Did you bring something?" he managed to get out between kisses.

"No need".

He pulled back a bit reluctantly. "Why not?" he asked. Usually the person doing the jumping was responsible to bring the condoms.

"Err, I'm on the pill now" she lied leaning forward to kiss him again hoping he would drop the subject. She had other plans of how to tell him about her pregnancy. No such luck, as he continued to press on about the subject.

"Since when?" he said pulling back. "I thought you weren't comfortable taking it?"

"Do you want to talk, or do you want me?" She smirked looking in his eyes. She reached down and grabbed his cock, squeezing it with a firm pressure causing him to moan and close his eyes.

_Talk later,_ he thought to himself, returning to his incredibly sexy wife sitting naked and horny in front of him.

Smiling at her, he took a step towards her and let her guide his hardness inside of her. They both let out gasps. He felt his knees weaken at the feeling of her wetness surrounding him. She wrapped her legs around him to urge him deeper. Grabbing her hands and putting them around his neck he lifted her off the table, still inside of her and pushed her back up against the wall.

"Oh Alli," he mumbled as he slowly thrust forward into her. "You feel so good. I've missed you". Moment like this, where he could truly feel her made him realize her never wanted to use a condom again.

Feeling secure against the wall she moved her hands to push his head against her shoulder as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I'm right here babe," she moaned moving her hips in time with his movement.

He began to slide into her faster moving his hips in a slight figure eight motion causing waves of pleasure to hit her deep inside. Her moans grew more frequent and less controlled. He knew she was close, and he concentrated hard to help her finish before he did.

Just as she was about to come she lifted his head off her shoulder and looked him in the eyes, holding the sides of his face. "I love you" she said as she leaned forward to press her lips against his. He thrust forward once more, pushing her over the edge and her muscles starting to contract as she moaned into his mouth.

Those three words were all he needed to finish off in complete ecstasy, but that paired with her contracting muscles around him sent waves of pleasure through him. If it hadn't been for her lips surrounding his, he probably would have let out such a scream that the whole floor would have heard him.

Neither one of them moved for several moments as they breathed heavily. Finally he let her down gently until she was standing and they both dressed quickly with smiles on their faces.

Just before she slipped out the door, she smiled at him and said "I'll save you a spot in the lunch line".

He waited a couple of minutes before greeting her in the cafeteria, like their pre-lunch activities had not just taken place.


	5. Communication

You know the drill... R&R!

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Chapter 5-

They ate in silence at first. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. When Chase finished eating he glanced at Cameron, and then back down quickly.

"What?" she asked, catching his glance when he did it again.

"Are we going to talk about what you said before?" he asked lowering his voice to make sure no one, especially house or his team were around.

"What did I say before?"

"About you being on the pill? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well ya, I think it does. I would tell you if I made a decision like that".

Cameron wasn't sure how she was going to get around this one. She had already lied, which of course he didn't know, but now she didn't want to fight about something she didn't actually do, which he thought she did. She laughed in her head kicking herself over how confusing she made this. _I should have just brought a stupid condom,_ she thought to herself biting on her bottom lip.

"Well, are you going to talk to me?" he asked mistaking her silence for something other than the fact that she was lost in her own thoughts. "Look Allison, I'm not angry, I just wouldn't have a made a decision like that without talking to you first."

"I'm sorry..." she started but didn't finish the sentence. She looked at him innocently.

Chase nodded not wanting to push the issue further. It really didn't matter that much in the end. He gave her a smile, which she returned.

"Are you going to make it home for dinner?" Cameron asked Chase trying to change the subject.

"I should probably."

"Good. I'm going to cook tonight."

Chase smirked looking at her with uncertain eyes.

"What!? I _can_ cook!" she scolded.

He shrugged and gave her his sweetest smile, blue eyes sparkling. "I never said you couldn't," he smiled innocently. "In fact I like your cooking."

"Good answer," she smiled at him.

"Just don't burn the condo down before I get home." He couldn't help letting out a snicker.

"That was one time! And for the last time, I didn't know there was a piece of foil attached when I put it in the microwave!" She scrunched her face and leaned forward to slap his chest playfully with the back of her hand.

"Hey! Now that's abuse," he warned with fake seriousness pointing his finger at her.

"Oh ya? Want some more?" she winked pushing her foot against his crotch under the table. He gasped, probably enjoying it more than he should, considering his surroundings. He could feel himself tingling, and momentarily forgot they were still in the middle of the hospital cafeteria. He was reminded very quickly though when Cameron stood up. "I have to get back to the ER". And with only a wink she turned and walked away.

Chase sat there for another few minutes willing his hardness to settle down so he could stand up without drawing attention to the bulge in his pants, silently loving and cursing the power she had over him.

***

When Cameron's shift in the ER was over, she wasn't able to leave right away. She stood hovering over Malcolm, one of the lab technicians, who was running a blood test for her. She kept glancing at the clock and tapping her foot impatiently as she waited for him to give her the results.

"Dr. Cameron," he finally called handing her the paper. She looked at it and smiled. 8 weeks. She was a little surprised considering her lack of pregnancy symptoms, not that she was complaining about not having morning sickness. That and the fact that she didn't remember their condom ever breaking. They were drunk one night on their honeymoon though. Maybe it was then?

She rushed home, but not before stopping at the grocery store to pick up some things she would need to make dinner. She even got a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling champagne, to celebrate the news that she was eagerly waiting to share with her husband.

When the soup was cooking on the stove, and the roast and vegetables were slowly cooking in the oven, she phoned the ER to see how Chase's surgery was going so she would know how to time things. The nurse inquired and said he would be finished by 7.

She began to set the table pulling out their best table cloth and china that they had received for their wedding, and placed a couple fresh flowers from their garden in a small vase on the table.

She changed into a black A-line dress that cut off just above her knee, wearing under it the black lingerie she had not worn since their honeymoon. Chase had practically lost control of himself at the sight of her in the lacy thong and matching lace push up bra.

As a final step she lit the candles around the apartment, dimming the lights to create a warm romantic atmosphere. She placed the wrapped package containing the pregnancy test and positive lab result on the coffee table.

At 7 o'clock when the roast was finishing she turned down the heat on the oven, just to keep it warm, and did the same with the soup.

***

Chase finished his surgery at 10 minutes to 7, and was eager to get home. It was amazing how things had turned around between him and Allison in the past 24 hours. Although he still wanted to know what had been bothering her the week leading up to their blowout fight, he was relieved to have _his_ Allison back. He couldn't wait to get home to the meal she was cooking for him, and curl up with her on the couch.

Just as he was about to enter the locker room to change and grab his things, a cane slammed in front of the door way preventing him from entering.

"No way House," Chase said crossing his arms not turning around. "Whatever it is, I don't care."

"Now that's rude and unprofessional!" House quipped. "He doesn't care if your kid dies!"

Chase spun to see House standing with to parents who looked like they had been through a war. He sighed, sticking out his hand for the file.

"You're such an ass" Chase whispered at House before he turned towards the OR to re-scrub. He knew saying things like that didn't faze House, but he felt a slight relief of tension by letting it out.

"And you're so predictable!" he heard House call after him.

Chase paused at the OR nurses station to ask the nurse to inform Cameron when she called that he was going to be late. He knew she would be calling soon enough. The nurse gave him a 'you're going to be in trouble look'.

Chase smiled at her. "She understands these things, she's a doctor too remember? Plus she worked for House". The nurse laughed as he turned reluctantly and continued into the OR.

***

At 7:30 Cameron called Chase's cell phone, which went straight to voice mail.

By 8:00 she turned off the heat on the stove and the oven, worried that she would burn the food and set off the smoke alarm, only giving him more ammunition to laugh at her cooking.

She was getting very upset that she hadn't heard from him yet, and that her evening plans were getting ruined. This isn't something that she normally would have been so upset over, but maybe, she thought, it was the hormones starting to take over.

After pacing around the apartment for another half hour, she called the OR desk to find out that he had indeed finished his surgery on schedule, but he had been pulled into another one and had been expecting her to call and ask about him. This made her furious.

Normally she would have been happy with the fact that he left a message for her, even though he was so busy, but not tonight. Tonight was supposed to be a celebration. She knew he couldn't have possibly known this. That was the point right? That she would totally shock and surprise him. But she didn't care. He should have called her himself. Told her that he was ditching her for the night to do another surgery. Angrily, she stormed around the apartment and blew out the candles she had lit and then laid down fully clothed and sobbed in her pillow until she fell asleep, from emotional exhaustion.

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Note*****

I swear Cameron really was going to tell Chase in this Chapter... but it didn't turn out that way. It would have been much too long. More really soon though!


	6. The Confession

AN- Took me a while to figure out how I wanted this chapter to go. I must have redone the end of it six or 7 times. I hope you like it!

**Please review if you are still reading this**! I only got one review last time, and it made me sad :( Plus **I want to know if I should continue!**

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When Chase got home it was nearly 11. He had gotten home as fast as he could. House had coerced him into a surgery that ended up being useless, and he was feeling quite aggravated that he gave in to House once again.

When he unlocked the door and stepped in he found the apartment completely dark. "Allison?" he called. She never went to sleep this early. He took off his messenger bag dropping it messily on the floor, and hung his jacket. He went into the kitchen and flicked the light on. He froze at the sight of the table. It looked like something out of a magazine, with the tablecloth, china and flowers, as opposed to their usual take out boxes scattered on the coffee table. "Shit" he said out loud, realizing that Allison had a plan in her mind when she inquired if he was going to be home for dinner. He quickly ran the date through his mind to make sure it wasn't a special occasion that he was forgetting. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair, wishing he had gone with his initial instincts to blow off House and his games.

He lifted the lid off the pot on the stove to see the soup she made, and when he looked in the oven he found his favourite meal sitting cold and now dried out. He sighed in frustration and went to find Allison, who he knew wasn't going to be happy with him.

When he peaked in the bedroom the lights were on but Allison was asleep in her black dress on top of the covers. He stood watching her from the doorway. She looked so beautiful and angelic. It broke his heart to see her asleep, all dressed up, like she had been stood up for a date. He stood contemplating how he was going to approach the situation. His thoughts were interrupted when she stirred suddenly sensing his presence.

"What time is it?" she asked. He could see she had been crying, as her makeup had run down her cheeks and around her eyes. He felt a rush of guilt pulse through his veins.

"11" he said advancing closer to the bed. "I'm sorry Ali, I saw how much trouble you went to tonight.

"It's no big deal," she lied shifting to sit on the edge of the bed.

"It was a big deal, you..."

"Drop it Chase," she cut off. Chase cringed at her use of his last name in the middle of their conversation. She only ever used that at the hospital now. And apparently, when she was fuming at him, and trying to hide it.

She got up and walked towards the kitchen and started to clean up the food that was now cold, and possibly inedible.

"Can't we talk about this?" he pressed, leaning against the entry way of the kitchen.

"There's nothing to talk about. Besides, I'm busy," she said opening the fridge to put the soup away. She hadn't even glanced at him once.

"Let me clean up, you go rest," he offered advancing to try to take the dirty pot she was scrubbing out of her hand.

"I'm sure you're tired from surgery, I got it" she said not giving in to his advances to help her.

He sighed and went to sit on the couch, seeing the wrapped package on the table. He picked it up and eyed it, and placed it back down.

When she was finished in the kitchen she walked into the living room where he was sitting silently. "I'm going to bed".

"Can we please talk," he asked her again. She was so private with her emotions, he was worried about her always bottling everything up inside.

He got up walked over to where she was standing taking her hand into his. "You look beautiful tonight," he said leaning forward to kiss her on the cheek. She tensed noticeably. "How can I make this up to you?"

_You can't_, she thought. She felt tears stinging in her eyes and clenched her jaw in order to will them not to fall.

"Ali, please don't ignore me, just say something".

"You ruined everything!" she yelled at him reaching out to shove him so suddenly that he almost lost his balance. He was shocked by her sudden outburst. He followed her into their bedroom. When she started towards their closet he stepped in front of it to stop her, afraid she would try to pack her things to leave.

"I'm sorry. House needed me to do a surgery..." He regretted his words immediately.

"House? You blew me off for House? If I did that you would divorce me," she spat bitterly at him.

"Stop Ali. You know that's not true. Look, I'm sorry about dinner. I saw the effort you put in. I'll make it up to you, I swear."

"This isn't about dinner! You lied to me! You promised you'd be home!"

He got a bit defensive at her accusations. "I never promised. I said probably. You know I can't always help how my surgery schedule will go."

She stared at him so hard that she could almost see him shrinking at her anger. "Well at least now I know I can't depend on you for anything!" she yelled, physically pushing him out of her way.

"Don't say that," he pleaded finding his footing. "What is this really about then?"

She began to undress pulling her dress over her head violently. "If I can't depend on you for dinner I can't depend on you for anything! Just get out!" she shot at him, realizing he was still standing by their closet.

"You don't mean that..." he started but was frozen in place seeing the lingerie that she had been wearing under the dress, that he knew she only saved for really special occasions. He gulped.

She looked up to see him standing there, and quickly pulled on her robe on blocking his view. "Don't get any ideas. I don't even want to see you right now," she warned.

"Ali, I said I'm sorry. I love you. Don't be angry," he stepped forward and tried to pull her into a hung she swung her body from side to side to get out of his grasp.

"Don't touch me! I don't need you! Get away from me!" She knew she was being irrational now but she felt so insecure about being pregnant. The only thing getting her through until this point was the idea of getting to share it with him. He would help her, and take care of her. Now if she couldn't count on him to be home when he said he would, how could she count on him for anything? Maybe it was irrational, but she was feeling very insecure and she didn't care.

Chase was taken aback by her behaviour and stepped back releasing her. "What's wrong with you?" he asked now showing real concern. "Does this have anything to do with the past week?"

She just burst into sobs.

"Talk to me, please? What's going on with you?" he begged but she wouldn't look at him. "Allison! Don't give me the silent treatment. I can't help you if I don't know what is going on. Is something wrong between us?" he said raising his voice in more of a demanding tone, stemming from his frustrations of her not sharing her problems with him.

Her head shot up and her eyes met his. He felt guilty when he saw the redness in her eyes and how tired she looked, so he softened his expression.

She looked at him and sighed, feeling guilt over what the situation had become. She didn't want to tell him like this. She wanted it to be special, to watch his face light up with joy. She realized though that trying to surprise him had gotten way of hand, and she needed to tell him now. She walked past him, quickly leaving the room.

"Where are you going?" he called confused, but not wanting to follow in case it would make her mad. However, when she did not return right away he slowly walked into the living room. She stood facing the window, her back to him and he could see she was holding something. It was the package that had been lying on the table.

Suddenly, without any warning she turned towards him and whipped the package at his head. He only managed to just duck away from it, the small package only grazing the side of his head. "What the hell Allison?" he said starring at her.

"Congratulations, you're going to be a dad," she told him, and turned quickly retreating into their room. He heard the bedroom door slam behind her.

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Keep those reviews comming! Any notes, comments, or criticisms are welcome!


	7. Happiness

AN- Ok this is techinically the first part of the chapter. It was very long, since I did a smut scene... so that part will be chapter 8, posted soon if you want to read it. If not, you can skip it until I post chapter 9! Enjoy!

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Chapter 7***

"She pregnant?" he asked out loud to himself. That is what she implied? He sighed overwhelmed at the whole situation. He went over the events of past 15 minutes in his head completely confused as to what the hell was going on. He stepped forward and retrieved the wrapped present from the floor and moved to sit on the couch before starring down at it. He wasn't completely sure he should open it. What did this have to do with her being pregnant?

He slowly unfolded the paper to find a small green box. He lifted the lid to find two objects in it. "Oh m'god," he gasped finding two objects in the box. The reality finally hit him when he saw her positive pregnancy test and a positive lab test result for pregnancy showing she was 8 weeks along. "How did I not know?" he asked himself out loud starring down at the objects, and then to the empty doorway which led to their bedroom like it had all the answers he was looking for.

Chase suddenly realized what all of the events over the past week had been. She was scared. And tonight. _Oh god, tonight_, he only reaffirmed her initial fears that she was going to have to go through this alone, that he wouldn't have time for her.

Chase looked down at the lab result, as a smile spread across his face. To him this was fantastic news. He not only now had the women of his dreams, _his wife_. She was going to have his baby. Any lingering fears he still had after all of this time, about their future together, were melted away. They were going to have a baby... together.

He wanted to rush into her and sweep her up and hold her, but he was a little too frightened by her earlier actions. He needed to approach with caution. Give her time to calm down.

***

Chase was standing outside their bedroom door. He had been for at least the past 10 minutes now. Slowly his lifted his hand and knocked softly on the door. "Allison? Can I come in?"

"Yah".

He pushed open the door slowly and caught sight of her sitting on the floor leaning against the edge of the bed. She was hugging her legs, resting her chin in the gap between her knees. He frowned seeing how shaken up she looked and moved to sit next to her on the floor.

"Ready to talk?" he whispered tucking a piece of her loose blonde hair behind her ear.

His gentle touch, after how horrible she had just acted sent a fresh wave of tears down her face.

"It's ok, shhh," he told her softly putting his arm around her and pulling her in close to him.

"I didn't want to tell you like that," she sobbed. "I had it all planned out."

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does! It was supposed to be a celebration, something happy... not a fight. I'm sorry. About tonight, about the past week, about not talking to you. I've been such a bitch."

"None of that matters. It's done," he said kissing her forehead. "I'm so happy right now".

Cameron searched his face to read his emotions. She smiled at him when she saw that familiar glow. "I'm scared."

"I know. But you don't have to be. I'm not going anywhere."

"We never really talked about having kids, Rob. I mean we did... but not _really._"

"Yes we did. I guess I just thought that now that we were married it would probably be planned," he shrugged. "But it doesn't mean I'm not thrilled." He smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

She frowned, her eyes welling up with tears again.

"What's wrong? Babe, please don't cry," he said wiping away an escaped tear.

"I have put you through so much in the past week, all because I didn't know how I felt. And I lied to you. More than once," she winced shrinking away from his embrace.

"Lied about what?" he asked curiosity now peaked.

"The birth control..."

"Well that does make sense now," he laughed. "Seriously, I'm just so happy right now, none of that matters. "Come," he said getting up and reaching to help her up.

They climbed onto the bed and lay down. "You ok?" he asked her looking over at her from where he was lying on his back.

"I think I am," she smiled, moving to rest her head on his chest. "I'm gonna have a baby".

He took his hand and moved it down to her stomach, laying it against her smooth skin.

"My baby," he whispered softly leaning to brush his lips against hers. She reciprocated by pushing her hands to the back of his neck and up through his hair. He moaned softly into her mouth. He took this as an invitation and rolled over towards her. He leaned in and kissed her again, this time the kiss was deep and seemed to offer a promise that everything was going to be ok.

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Review!!


	8. Makeup sex is the best kind!

Ok aspromised, so here is my long smut scene, that accompanies chapter 7... incase you missed it!. Those of you who intend on reading it, I hope you like it. It took me a very long time to write. I'm not the greatest with description... hehe.

Enjoy!

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"My baby," he whispered softly leaning to brush his lips against hers. She reciprocated by pushing her hands to the back of his neck and up through his hair. He moaned softly into her mouth. He took this as an invitation and rolled over towards her. He leaned in and kissed her again, this time the kiss was deep and seemed to offer a promise that everything was going to be ok.

He reached forward and took her earlobe in his mouth, gently pulling at it with his teeth and running his tongue around it affectionately. She closed her eyes at the feeling of his warm breath and moaned softly. When he was satisfied that her ear had got enough attention, he leaned over and did the same for the other ear.

She suddenly felt such a need to be with him, to let him know how sorry she was that she had pushed him away. She could feel the ache in her heart. She reached forward and pulled his head away from her ear, and brought his lips down to touch hers. She took her hands and began to work at undoing the buttons on his shirt, sliding it off his shoulders, never taking her lips away from him. She wrapped her legs around him and rolled them over so she was sitting on top of his hips. She pulled her lips back and slid backwards until she was standing at the edge of the bed.

"Where are you going?" he asked in a tone of needy desperation, still trying to catch his breath.

A seductive smile spread across her face as she pulled the tie on her robe undone, letting the opening at the front of it reveal a small amount of what was hidden behind it. Chase propped himself up on his elbows, absorbed in her every move. He felt himself grow harder remember the lingerie that she had been wearing. She turned around to shield his view, glancing back, when he released of small moan of frustration.

She slowly pushed one shoulder down, revealing her bare skin, and then followed with the other. She paused, to gaze into his eyes before letting the robe slip to the ground.

He smiled at the site of her in the black thong and bra, his cock twitching desperately to be touched. She turned towards him and ran her hands over her breasts and down the sides of her hips, and back up. He was too taken by her sexy show to make any movements.

"When do I get a turn?" he asked her as she was about to reach down between her legs. She smile and crawled onto the bed on all fours, and slowly advanced towards him. He reached under her and cupped her breasts that were hanging down, near his face, and pushed the lace of her bra back, just enough to release her nipples. He began by rubbing the left nipple, flicking it, squeezing it. Her moans filled his ears. "Robert."

He moved onto the right nipple, while never releasing the other. His motions were causing her to squirm. She was getting week, still having to support herself in that position.

He leaned forward and cupped her face in his hands. He leaned his lips forward until they were just barely grazing hers, leaving both of them wanting more.

Chase shifted so he was sitting against the backboard of the bed, and leaned forward to grab Allison by her hips and flip her over onto him. She let out a playful yelp, his actions taking her by surprise. She now sat in the V of his spread legs, her back resting on his bare chest. She reached under her back and pressed on lump in his jeans causing him to moan her name. He brought his hands back to her breasts and continued to fondle them through her bra.

Gently he grasped her busy hand which was trying very hard to undo the fly of his jeans. "My turn first" he mumbled into her ear and he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the back of it before bringing her arm up and resting it behind his neck, doing the same with the other. He wanted to have free reign over her body now. He started trailing his fingers down from her neck, down between her breasts, right down to her stomach where he paused to run his fingers around her belly button, causing chills to run through her spine, and her breath to quicken. "Oh Robert," she moaned. "Your touch feels so fucking good."

He brought his lips a bit lower to kiss the back of her head. He could feel her hands running feverishly through his hair, the only place she could reach.

Slowly, he brought his hands down to her thighs and spread them apart, meeting no resistance from Allison, who had long ago surrendered to him. She spread her legs until they wrapped over his legs, leaving him space for whatever he wanted to do.

After what seemed like an eternity to her, his fingers reached down and pushed the front of her thong aside, and found her lips. He spread them apart as he pushed one finger into her to see how wet she was. She let out a moan.

"You're drenched already," he whispered to her. She nodded.

He dragged his finger up to her clit and slowly began to stroke it, drawing circles around it. He knew he had found the right place when he saw her legs twitching from delight.

He brought another finger into his motions and alternating them quickly in little pulsing motions. Her hips lifted off the bed. "Oh god Robert, please don't stop". Her hands had frozen on the back of his head. She was completely entranced in his workings.

His free hand went to work on her nipple, while he leaned down and nibbled on her ear. He considered pulling back, and making her wait before re-climaxing but he was just as eager as she was to make her cum. He wanted to hear her scream his name. He didn't have to wait long. Within second he could feel her build up and she tightened and shifted before letting go, screaming his name. He felt her gush over his fingers, warm from her inside. "Oh Rob, oh god... Rob, _YES, YES_," she finished collapsing on his chest. He couldn't help but smile into her hair as he kissed the back of her head. She lay there, breathing heavy for several minutes without moving.

Slowly he moved her over the lay next to him on the bed. He got up and undid his pants pushing them, and his boxers to the floor. He climbed on the bed and quickly moved to Allison, and slowly removed her thong. He thanked god for their quickie in the supply closet in the morning. If it weren't for that, he was sure he would have already lost controlled and shot his juices all over her, without even having his cock be touched.

"What about this?" she asked playfully, playing with the lace of her bra.

He grinned. "I think we should keep that around". He leaned into her and began to trace kisses down her neck. "You are so beautiful," he told her stopping his kisses to gaze into her eyes. "I can't imagine ever loving anything else the way I love you."

Even though she was lying naked in front of him, his words still managed to make her blush. He dove back down and began to smother her with kisses again.

She reached down and grabbed on to his shaft sliding up and down.

"I want you in me," she moaned.

He smiled, only to happy to comply, but stopped just before he slid into her.

"What?" she breathed heavily as he pulled back.

"I feel like I'm going to squish the baby."

"It's the size of a pea. Don't be ridiculous."

She wrapped her legs tightly around him, pulling him down back on top of her. He slowly lowered his hips until his hardness was nearing her entrance. Sensing his hesitation she reached down and assisted him in pushing forward into her.

They both moaned at the same time, gazing into each other's eyes.

He paused as soon as he was fully in to regain control. "I hate condoms," he smirked as he leaned down to kiss her. He could feel everything so much more intently like this.

Her legs wrapped around the back of his, helped to set the pace for his thrusts. He was moaning into her neck and he nibbled on it, and delivered soft loving kisses. The intensity of the night made managed to make their love making ten times more intense than usual. Within seconds Allison could feel the tension building inside of her, built of by the long strokes he was delivering hitting all of the right places.

Hearing her moans and breaths quicken, he realized she was close.

"Don't cum yet babe," he begged as he started to slow down, but it was too late she was thrusting up against him screaming his name.

"Keep going Rob, oh god keep going, don't stop."

He took her cue and sped up his thrusts, which wasn't easy because he could feel her contracting against him inside of her. He leaned his forehead against hers and looked into her eyes and he continued his loving motions inside of her. Her breathing still hadn't calmed down from her orgasm, and her hands were furiously running all over him, squeezing and rubbing.

Just as quick as the first one came, Allison began to scream again, tension building inside of her. She reached forward and held onto Roberts face kissing him, just before she let go. "I love you," she told him, letting go and letting her screams fill the room once more. Within seconds he could feel himself climaxing and screamed Allison's name before letting himself release and flow into her. She moaned at the feeling of him filling her up inside.

He collapsed on top of her and neither of them spoke for a long time. She just ran her fingers through his hair.

Finally, he managed to look up at her. "Is that a new record? You came _three_ times," he smiled impressed with himself.

"They say make-up sex is the best kind," she giggled.

"We need to fight more often," he joked dropped his head back onto her chest.

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Reviews please!


	9. Words spreads fast

Hey Guys. Sorry it took me unusually lonmg for this chapter, and that it's so short. I've been really sick... almost better, I hope! Anyways, this is just a small portion of what I wrote for this chapter, but I wanted to put something up to show I haven't lost interest! I will hopefully have the rest up once I proofread it, tonight or tomorrow!

**Thanks to those who reviewed**, and added me to their favourites/alerts. **I would love more reviews**, especially since I'm stuck and bed and could use some happiness :)

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"You look pale," Chase told her one afternoon when he was visiting Cameron in the ER. "Did you eat?"

"Yes. I'm just tired," she told him not glancing up at him. She continued to write in the chart she was working on.

"I'm worried about you."

She stopped what she was doing, glancing up at him. "I'm fine. I just didn't get much sleep last night," she whispered, while starring seductively at him, causing him to smile.

"I know... I'm just worried about you. You really need to slow down."

"You already said that. Look, I'm 9 weeks... I'm fine. I've been lucky, no morning sickness or anything. We're seeing the doctor in 2 days. I'm sure she'll tell you the same thing." He still didn't look convinced.

"Ok. I'll meet you here at the end of your shift." He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek.

***

The rest of the afternoon went by very slowly for Cameron. She was feeling weak and tired. She felt like everything she was doing was in slow motion, and everything she lifted felt heavy. She kept glancing at the clock. The minutes dragged on, and the emergencies kept finding their way into the ER.

On her break she slipped into the lounge to rest, lying down for a few minutes. The next thing she knew she was being poked by something. She opened her eyes to see House prodding her with his cane. She glanced at the clock; she had only been asleep for a couple of minutes.

"What do you want?" she demanded irritated by his rude interruption.

"Now that's not friendly! And to think I only came to congratulate you!"

"On what?" she asked not opening her eyes.

"You're impending bundle of joy."

She quickly glanced at him.

"You're hubby gave it away."

"He told you?" she asked surprised.

"No. But you just did. He's all emotional over the babies in the NICU. God he's effeminate."

She rolled her eyes at him. She wasn't going to discuss this with him. "Bye House," she said getting up to return to the ER. Her 15 minute break was almost up.

As she stood up she was hit by a dizzy spell and reached forward to steady herself on the wall, but misjudged the distance and fell.

***

Slowly she opened her eyes to see house and couple nurses from the ER leaning over her.

"What happened?" she asked trying to sit up.

"You fainted, are you feeling alright?" one of the nurses asked her.

"I'm just really tired. I'm fine," she said not using any of the support the nurses offered to help her up. She needed to show them it was fine. She needed to show herself.

"No need to worry," House told the nurses. "Normal pregnancy stuff." They raised their eyebrows in surprise.

Cameron brought her hand to her head and sighed, gaining her composure, before turning and walking out of the lounge, silently cursing House. Now that the nurses knew, everyone in the hospital would know.

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Reviews!!! Thanks!


	10. Moving on

Ok! here's the rest of the part I promised yesterday! Keep the comments comming! I love them!

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"Can you please take it easy on the brake?" Cameron moaned during hers and Chase's drive home.

"Sorry," he responded surprised. "You nauseous?"

"A little. I think I'm over tired." She leaned forward and pushed off the radio. Music was too much to focus on right now. She was chewing on the corner of her lip.

After glancing sideways a couple of times at Chase, she finally said what she had really been thinking this whole time. "House knows I'm pregnant."

"How?" he asked furrowing his brow. "You're not showing yet."

"He said you gave it away. Been visiting the NICU much?" She asked trying to hide her smile.

"Oh..."

"It's ok, He would have figured it out on his own anyways. He always does. I just wasn't planning on telling anyone so soon. It's just _so_ soon into the pregnancy."

"I don't mind everyone knowing," Chase said flashing her one of his proud grins.

"You know in Judaism they don't tell anyone until after the woman is three months pregnant. Bad luck."

"Yes... but we're not Jewish."

Cameron gave him her 'you think?' glance, causing him to smirk.

Chase pulled into their parking space at their condo and took Cameron's stuff from the car following her to their door, unlocking it.

"Oh, and I fainted this afternoon," she told him nonchalantly as she was taking her coat off.

"What? And you're just telling me this now?" Chase asked concerned. "I'm taking you back to the hospital, you could..."

"I could nothing. I'm going to lie down. I'll eat something when I get up, and I'll be fine by tomorrow."

"Allison," he started, but she was already in the bedroom.

***

While Allison was sleeping Chase decided to go out to pick up some stuff to eat. He wasn't much of a cook, nor did he make the effort to try to be.

He was about to enter the Indian restaurant they usually got their food from when he noticed a store across the street. It was a kid's store. He couldn't help himself.

He entered the store, and looked around like he wasn't really allowed to be in there. Everything was so small, and some of it seemed so pointless. He picked up a pink and white pair of Baby Puma shoes and just stared at them with wide eyes.

"Can I help you?" a young woman asked him, eyeing him up and down, hoping that he was only here to buy a gift for someone else.

"I'm ugh, just looking for now," he said placing the shoes back down. _How do they justify 40 dollars on baby shoes??_

"For a gift for someone?"

"Yah," It_ would be nice to get something for Allison._

"For a friend?" She asked eyeing him hopefully. Chase was oblivious.

"For my wife". Chase was too busy looking at onesies, to notice her walk away.

***

Allison woke up to the feeling of Chase brushing her cheek with his hand.

"Hey babe, you've been asleep for almost 4 hours. Want to come eat something?"

She smiled at him. And moved to sit up, but stopped when we she was hit with a dizzy spell.

"Ya, I need to eat. I'm light headed." She didn't tell him about her muscle pain in her shoulders. She just slept funny, no need to worry him more than he already was.

Chase looked at her for a moment, before moving to help her out of the bed. He didn't say anything.

Chase had picked up the Indian take-out, after his adventures in the baby store. They sat at the coffee table eating while watching TV.

"Feeling better?" he asked her, looking at her sideways, away from the television.

"Much," she said sliding up from the floor to the couch. "Thanks. I guess you were right, I didn't eat enough today."

Chase nodded, and got up clearing the plates into the kitchen.

"Considering how little you normally eat, you're really going to have to make an active effort to actually... eat," he told her.

She didn't respond. She knew he was right.

He slid on to the couch next to her, and she curled into him resting her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and breathed in. "You smell good," she told him rubbing her head against him to find her comfort spot.

"I smell like the OR. That's good?"

"No, you smell like my Robert."

"You're weird," he smiled kissing her head and tightening his arms around her.

***

"I'm gonna jump in the shower," Chase told Cameron who was already in bed reading.

He moved into the washroom, and closed the door. Cameron put down her book. Suddenly the only thing she could concentrate on was him being naked in the shower. She moved quickly from under the covers and dropped her pyjamas off onto the floor, sneaking quietly into the washroom.

She pulled back the shower curtain slowly trying not to attract attention, wanting to surprise Chase. He heard the curtain move though and turned around to find her climbing in with him.

"Hi there," he said surprised. "Weren't you all ready in bed?" he asked, not being able to stop the smile forming on his face and she moved forward to put her arms around him.

"Uh huh, but your idea seemed like more fun," she said lifting her head up to meet his lips.

He closed his eyes as her lips found his. He could feel himself growing against her body, which was tightly pressed up against hers. "I love it when you surprise me like this."

"I know" she whispered through kisses and she pushed him back against the shower wall. He made no moves to take control. He loved it when she was like this. She wanted him so bad, and made no effort to hide it.

Within minutes they had changed positions and her back was against the shower wall as he pressed into her. Their screams and moans were echoing off the bathroom walls, and as they came, she only seconds before him, they couldn't tell the difference between the sweat and the water that dripped off their bodies.

* * *

Don't be shy! Review!


	11. Terrible realizations

I'm going away for the weekend, so I wanted to get this up before I left.

Thanks for your reviews... keep them coming.** Depending on interest** I will decide how much further I'm going to extend the story!

* * *

Cameron woke up in the middle of the night completed nauseated. She was sweating, and she felt like she was spinning in circles even though she was still lying in bed. Feeling her stomach lurch she threw the covers back, and jumped up to run the bathroom. She was seconds too late. She lifted her hands to her face to stop herself from making a mess on the floor as she barely made it to the washroom in time.

When she finished she tried to stand up, but another wave of nausea hit her, and she continued to lurch until her throat felt stretched and her stomach empty.

"Rob?" she called out. "Robert?" She tried a little louder. He was such a heavy sleeper sometimes.

Grabbing a towel as a pillow, she lay down on the washroom rug near the toilet, exhausted and not wanting to move.

Periodically throughout the night she woke to the same routine, silently cursing her mid-night sickness, instead of her morning sickness.

***

When the alarm went off Robert groaned and rolled over to wrap himself around Allison's warm body, but found her side of the bed empty. He reached over and swatted the alarm off and got out of bed walking to the kitchen, where he expected to find her.

"Allison?" he was still groggy and confused. He filled the coffee pot with water and turned it on walking back into their room. He stepped into the bathroom and was quickly sobered when he saw her lying on the floor.

"Oh my god! Allison? Can you hear me?" he said moving down on the floor, expecting her to be unconscious.

She opened her eyes and gave him a weak smile. "Good morning sunshine," she said sarcastically. "Sleep well?" He breathed a sigh of relief.

"Did you spend the whole night here?" She nodded moving to get up. She groaned, as every bone in her body ached and complained from the unforgiving floor that she had slept on. "Why didn't you wake me?" he asked her feeling terribly guilty.

She flashed her eyes towards him. "Easier said than done."

"Sorry," he frowned, grabbing her under her arms and helping her to her feet.

"I feel terrible. My stomach is killing me, I'm still nauseous, and I'm dizzy to top off the whole list. I really need to lie down," she said leaning on the bathroom counter trying to keep her standing.

"I'm going to get you something to drink and eat, and then we're going to the doctor." He was trying to stay calm but his heart was pounding. He was worried sick. She looked terrible now, and although he didn't want to think something could be seriously wrong, he was being her husband now and any logic that would have been there as a doctor was thrown out the window. Something was really wrong. He knew it.

"We're seeing the doctor tomorrow. It's fine."

"It's not fine Allison. It's not normal to spend the whole night throwing up, after fainting the same day. You're being stubborn." He turned to get her things from the kitchen. He came back with a tray of some plain toast and Gatorade.

"Blue Gatorade? Ugh, I don't think I can for breakfast."

"You need the electrolytes. Try. Please," he pleaded.

Allison tried to eat but her mouth was so dry she could barely chew the bread and the blue drink was playing games with her gag reflexes. She set the tray aside and lay back on the pillow, feeling her eyelids already falling.

When he was dressed he sat next to her on the bed, smoothing her hair that fell next to her head on the pillow. "Can I please take you to the doctor? Let them do a blood test, and check to make sure the baby is ok?"

"I need to sleep now," please she pleaded in such a weak voice.

"Allie, you may be anaemic. This could be serious. You can't keep ignoring your symptoms". Protectively she moved a hand down to her stomach and rubbed it softly, as if trying to calm the baby from what he was saying.

"I'm not, please Robert. Let me sleep and if I'm not better by the afternoon I'll go. Promise," she told him looking tiredly into his eyes.

He gave her a very reluctant nod. "I'll let them know you're taking a sick day," he told her as he leaned down to kiss her head. He stopped in the doorway on his way out and looked at her. He didn't want to leave her, but he had an important surgery for a donor's son, and knew he had to be there. He sighed before turning and leaving for the hospital.

***

Cameron was woken up a couple of hours later by intense stomach pains. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her mid section. She got up slowly so as not to fall from dizziness and let out a scared cry when she saw the unusual coloured liquid that had stained the bed under where she was sleeping.

She dropped to the floor as tears filled her eyes, both from the pain in her abdomen and the shock of knowing that something was actually wrong with the baby. She knew some bleeding during pregnancy was often normal, but with the amount and colour, and the stomach pain she was fairly sure she had just miscarried.

While sobbing and moaning she crawled over to the night stand and reached for the phone dialling Chase's cell phone, which was off. She wanted to call the OR desk but suddenly couldn't keep the numbers straight in her head.

She closed her eyes and picked up the phone dialling the numbers. When a nurse answered the phone, she sighed relieve to have gotten the number correct.

"Hi this is Dr. Allison Cameron, is Dr. Chase still in surgery?"

"I can put you on hold and check..." she started.

"No! Don't put me on hold! Look I need you to find him, please hurry, and tell him he needs to come home," she tried hard not to sob into the phone.

"If Dr. Chase is still in surgery I'll have to leave a message for him."

"No. No messages. I don't care how you do it, but tell him to come home. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes," said the nurse a little frightened by the tone of Cameron's voice.

Cameron hung up the phone and managed to drag herself back up to the bed. She laid down and let the tears continue to roll down her face as she waited for Chase to come home and help her.

* * *


	12. The good and the bad

A/N- Ok, here is the new chapter. I hope you read on, and thank you once again for your reviews. They made my day when I got home and read them all. I love how enthusiastic some of you are about my story!

-- Oh and if I screwed up any medical stuff, I'm sorry. It is just fiction after all anyways... and I'm not a doctor :)

*I've included a small note as well at the end of the chapter, so as not to spoil this chapter. If you must know, then you can scroll down and spoil it for yourself. That's up to you!

Keep reviewing, and I'll post again very soon!

* * *

Chapter 12---

* * *

Linda Thalmer had never been an assertive person. That was why being a nurse was a good job for her. She took direction well, and didn't usually have to make important decisions or calls on her own. While many members of her family thought it was cop-out to being a doctor, because of her flair for academics, she was quite content in her job.

When the phone rang Linda picked it up, "OR reception, how may I direct your call?"

"Hi this is Dr. Allison Cameron, is Dr. Chase still in surgery?" Linda knew Dr. Cameron, of course. Who didn't? Most of the nurses, including herself, were very fond of Robert Chase... especially his looks, and were always jealous of his love for Dr. Cameron.

"I can put you on hold and check..." Linda started.

"No! Don't put me on hold! Look I need you to find him, please hurry, and tell him he needs to come home." Linda was slightly taken aback by Dr. Cameron's demeanour on the other end of the phone.

"If Dr. Chase is still in surgery I'll have to leave a message for him," Linda told her. She didn't want to have to be the one to go and demand he leave a surgery.

"No. No messages. I don't care how you do it, but tell him to come home. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes," Linda replied, scared by the way the doctor was yelling at her.

Linda hung up the phone and wrung her hands together. She looked around, but no other nurses were available to delegate the task to. Sighing she turned and looked at the surgery bored, and went to the corresponding OR to see if Dr. Chase was still occupied.

She could see that he was still scrubbed in, and decided that instead of scrubbing in herself she would call the OR phone. She told the nurse on the line about Dr. Cameron's request that Dr. Chase was needed at home immediately. Relieved that she had delivered the message, she went back to the reception desk. She didn't feel the need to double check that the message had been delivered.

* * *

The OR nurse Katie, who took the message for Dr. Chase was just hanging up the phone when the monitors began to beep, the patient was coding. Being distracted, Katie immediately forgot about the message she just took on the phone.

* * *

An hour later Chase was showering in the locker room, happy that the surgery had been a success. They had almost lost the patient, but managed to stabilize him and finish off the surgery, without any further complications.

His mind drifted to Allison. When he was dressed he headed to the OR desk to use the phone to see how she was feeling. The phone rang several times, but she didn't answer. He hung up the phone and was going to wait a few minutes to call back.

"Dr. Chase?" He heard, so he turned to find one of the nurses talking to him.

"Hi Linda," he said friendly, giving her a smile.

"So was everything ok at home?" she asked politely.

"At home?" he asked confused.

"You didn't get the message?" Linda was becoming flustered.

"What message?" he asked stepping closer, panic rising in his chest.

"Oh my! I called the OR... your wife called... she said she needed you at home..."

"When?" he asked searching her face for answers. "How long ago?"

"Over an hour..." she started but he had already taken off down the hall towards his car.

* * *

"Pick up!" he yelled to his cell phone, when Allison was not answering the phone. He was in his car and driving as fast as he could to get home. He tried to calm himself, by rationalizing that she was probably asleep and did not hear the phone, but really, he knew that that was probably not the case.

He parked illegally in front of their condo, putting on his four way flashers, and ran up the steps to their door, and unlocked it quickly.

He hurried into the bedroom to find Allison lying, eyes closed on the bed. "Allison?" he said moving towards her and brushing her cheek. Her skin was cool and clammy. He softly tried to wake her, when his eyes drifted and he noticed the blood soaking the sheets.

"Something's wrong..." she muttered barely conscious.

Without thinking or speaking, Chase moved forward and scooped her up into his arms and hurried out to the car, laying her in the backseat, not even trying to get her to sit up and seatbelt her in.

When he was back in the driver's seat and speeding towards the hospital, he glanced back at her in the rear-view mirror.

"Allie, are you with me?"

She blinked a couple of time with heavy eyelids. "I think I've lost a lot of blood," she mumbled.

"Just stay with me, we're almost there, you're going to be ok," he said reassuring himself and her.

* * *

When Chase ran into the ER with his wife in his arms, a whole set of events were set into motion, most of which were a blur to him. He didn't take his eyes off of his wife, from the moment he laid her down on a bed in the ER. Dr. Cuddy was called down, and they moved her to a private room, while waiting for the on-call OBGYN to come and see her.

Chase held her hand the whole time, even when the nurses were working to hook her up to machines, and place an IV in her arm. No one would try to ask him to step back and let them work. They just worked around him.

When the OBGYN came she was caring and calm, but not reassuring as she lifted Cameron's shirt to place the gel on her stomach to conduct the ultrasound.

"Ectopic pregnancy," she said pointing to the screen. "Fetal heart rate is in the fallopian tubes. I'm sorry."

Chase didn't saying anything. He just continued to look at his Allison, not wanting to believe the news.

"Dr. Chase, we have to act fast. Normally, we would give her antimetabolite methotrexate to disrupt the growth of the developing embryo, however, she is further along in the pregnancy than I would hope in this situation. I'm also concerned about her haemorrhaging, and rupturing of her tubes. Although I don't see much evidence of blood clots on the ultra sound, we need to do a laparoscopic examination to cut the tube and remove the pregnancy."

"Has is ruptured?" he asked, finally looking at the doctor. If it had, she would need abdominal surgery, where the risks are much higher, as well as the risk of it permanently affecting her fertility.

"I won't know until we do the laparoscopic examination. We may also need to give her a transfusion, if she continues to lose blood."

Chase leaned down and kissed Cameron's forehead. She had not woken up yet since the car. Part of him was glad she would know what was happening until it was over. Letting his lips linger on her head, he whispered in her ear. "I love you baby, and I'll be right here when you wake up." He looked up and nodded at the doctor in charge of her case, as he stood back and watched the nurses advancing to move her for the procedure.

Dr. Cuddy wouldn't let him watch the surgery from the observation room. He sat instead in the OR staff room, waiting to hear news. Cuddy sat with him for a while, and tried to give him reassuring smiles and glances. They didn't make conversation.

Finally, when the door to the staff room opened, Cameron's doctor stood there with a small smile on her face.

Chase stood up.

"She's doing fine. No complications. We managed to remove the pregnancy, while keeping everything intact. The bleeding has stopped. We're giving her blood just to be sure, because she did lose a lot. You can go see her now."

Chase closed his eyes and breathed out a sigh of relief. He thanked the doctor and hurried out to Allison's room. When his eyes found her lying in the bed a pang of guilt hit him that she had to go through this part alone. Although it was their child, it was her body, and he knew he would never fully grasp what she was about to go through physically and emotionally.

He pulled a chair next to her bed and sat down taking her hand into his. "You're going to be ok," he said out loud to her, but for himself. He couldn't imagine having to live a day without her in his life.

* * *

A/N- I really hope you're not mad that I have written the story in this direction, but this is where the initial idea came from. All that was written before was really just leading up to this. I had never intended her to have the baby at this point in the story, and although many of you have sent me please for her to keep it... I'm sorry. Maybe later on in the story though...

Let me know what you think!


	13. Falling

Thanks for your support about the turn the story has taken! I still have quite a bit more to do in it... so here we go!

This one is quite long, but I'm sure you won't mind!

* * *

Chapter 13-

* * *

Cameron woke up a few hours after the surgery. Her eyes fluttered open and she took in her surroundings, realizing she was at the hospital but not remembering getting there.

Chase was there sitting in a chair with his eyes closed, holding her hand. She squeezed his hand lightly to see if he was sleeping.

His eyes opened when he felt the pulse of her hand. He gave her a weak smile and leaned forward, relieved that she was looking better than she had in a while, her colour returning to normal. "Hey babe, how are you feeling?"

"Tired. When did you bring me here? I don't remember you coming home."

He recounted the story about not getting her message, and finding her at home barely conscious. Her hand flew down to her stomach. "The baby?" she asked him looking into his eyes. He couldn't keep eye contact with her. She nodded, knowing that she had lost it.

"It was ectopic," he told her. "They had to do a laparoscopic surgery. There was no rupture, but you lost a lot of blood, so they gave you a transfusion."

"I'm sorry," she said looking at him, her lips turning into a frown as her eyes filled with tears.

Chase moved to sit next to her on the bed taking both her hands into his. "Listen to me. This is _not_ your fault. _Please_ don't blame yourself. You couldn't have known... couldn't have done anything," he said shrugging.

"I should have been more careful, should have listened to you..."

"Allison, it doesn't matter. It _wouldn't_ have mattered."

"But if it had gotten any worse... gone any longer... I could have died," she said looking away.

Chase didn't say anything. He just looked at her hands in his. He didn't want to think about what could have been.

She slid over to the other side of the bed and patted next to her as an indication that he should lie down next to her. He did, and shifted so that he could wrap his arms around her, resting his chin in the crook of her neck. They both lay there not talking, but sharing the loss of what they had wanted to experience, together.

* * *

Cameron stayed in the hospital for the next couple of days, most of which Chase spent close to her. He took her home on Friday, and took the weekend off work to be home with her. Everyone understood.

They hadn't spoken much since it happened. It seemed that there was nothing else to say. They were mourning, but they needed to move forwards, and not remain fixed in the moment. Neither of them seemed to know how to do this. Cameron hadn't cried since she woke from her surgery, and Chase hadn't cried at all. The experience seemed too surreal to even shed a tear.

* * *

They were curled on the couch watching an old movie, the night Cameron came home.

"Cuddy asked me how much time I need off, today," she told him without taking her eyes from the television.

"What did you say?" he said shifting his eyes to look at her.

"I'm not taking any. I'm going back Monday."

Chase blinked a few times, eyes still focused on her. "Do you think that's wise? Maybe you should take a few extra days at least, to make sure you heal properly?"

"It was a tiny incision. Besides, I need to get back into a routine. Move on. Work will help me do that," she said finally turning to look at him.

"Ok." He wasn't going to push her. He knew she would do what she wanted anyways, so it was better to keep the peace.

* * *

When Cameron returned to work, people were awkward around her. Of course all of the hospital staff had heard what happened. The people that were closer to her offered condolences on what had happened and told her they were glad she was alright. Everyone else cast sad smiles, not knowing or wanting to say anything. She went about as normal doing her job, responding briefly to those that offered their sympathies, and well wishes for the future.

By lunch time she was feeling beat down. She had treated a woman who had come into the ER who was seven months pregnant, and had fallen down stairs. Cameron found that she was happy, but jealous that the woman's baby was still doing fine. She felt like she was fighting back tears the rest of the morning after that. She could only distract herself so much.

On her break she went up to the OR to find Chase. She _needed_ him. Needed to feel his strong arms wrapped around her, protecting her. He was talking to another doctor, when he saw her and excused himself to go and meet her in the hall.

"Hey babe, how are you?" He asked softly already knowing the answer.

Hearing his voice was enough to make her break down, finally releasing the tears that she had not only been holding in since the morning, but since the day on which it happened. She cried for everything that she had not even realized she had been holding in. He led her to an empty exam room, and pulled her into a hug, letting her tears flow onto his shoulder as he rubbed her back soothingly.

"I'm not ready. I thought I could be here, but I can't. I don't want to be here right now," she sobbed.

"Then don't be. Go home, and take time off. Cuddy won't mind. She'll understand."

"When will you be home?" she asked moving back to look at him. She didn't really want to be alone.

"I still need to be here the next few hours. I'll be home as soon as I can be. Will you be alright?"

She nodded.

"You know I love you," he told her reassuringly, not knowing what else to say.

She smiled softly. "And I love you."

* * *

The next week Cameron barely got out of bed, or ate. She was tired even though she slept most of the days and had no appetite, even for things she usually consistently craved. When she woke up, she felt like she hadn't slept at all, even though she had. When she tried to do something as simple as pouring something to drink, her eyelids felt heavy and she became exhausted.

Although she had the television on during the days, she couldn't focus. She mostly drifted in and out of sleep. She didn't mind sleeping so much. At least in sleep, she didn't feel the pain of sadness.

When Chase was home, she made an effort to get out of bed and sit in the living room with him. She pushed food around on her plate, but didn't really eat. Her stomach was growling for food, but she couldn't manage to find enough strength to chew.

Chase didn't say anything at first, wanting to give her space to deal with her emotions, but he saw her falling into depression, but didn't know what to do to stop her from falling further, or how to pull her out of it.

"Allison, you have to eat something solid," he told her one evening when she didn't bother getting out of bed to greet him. "You're going to make yourself sick."

"I'm nauseous. I can't eat," she said closing her eyes again.

"Because you've barely eaten in days, and you're probably dehydrated. You can't keep doing this to yourself," he said frustrated, using his hands when he spoke, as if to emphasize his point.

She didn't answer him. She knew he was right, but she couldn't muster the energy to talk at the moment. She was so tired.

He sat on the bed next to her and smoothed the hair on her head. "Maybe you need to think about going on some anti-depressant medication for a while. Just to give you a boost to help you get through this."

"No meds."

"Allison, come on. Will you see someone then? Talk to someone?"

"I talk to you."

"You know that's not what I mean. Obviously this has hit you hard, but you can't just shut out the world and hope to feel better."

"Why aren't you upset? Don't _you_ care?" she said finally opening her eyes to look at him. She could see his blue eyes shining with sadness, especially at her words. She felt immediately guilty for saying it.

"Of course I care! I didn't _want_ any of this to happen! But first off, it's not my body it happened to. This is harder for you, and don't think I don't understand that. But Allie, we can always try again when you're ready. When we're ready."

Tears began to fall from her eyes, and she looked up to will them to stop falling. "What if I don't want to try again?"

"Come on, you don't mean that. You're just upset and scared," he said looking at her, the sadness of her words still reflected in his eyes.

"Maybe I do. I can't risk something like this happening again. I wouldn't be able to again... I can't even handle this!"

"It will get easier. You're not going to feel like this forever."

"You don't know that," she said looking away from him. "What if I do?"

"That's not possible. Everyday will get easier. You just have to try to do a little more each day and it will get better. One day you'll just wake up, and you'll feel fine. But you have to make an effort. You can't stay in bed forever."

She didn't speak for a long moment letting what Chase said process through her mind. Logically she knew he was right. This was just situational depression and it would get better. However, at this moment, the way she felt, she imagined that dying would be easier, so she wouldn't have to feel the torment that she was experiencing in her head and heart. She was feeling physically pained by her emotions. But when she imagined herself taking her own life, she pictured Chase finding out what she had done, and his sadness was enough to keep her from taking the thoughts any further than that. She did not create a plan, and had no real intention of turning her thoughts into actions.

"Tell me what you're thinking love," he begged brushing her cheek, to wipe a few tears.

She shook her head no, letting the tears keep rolling down her cheeks.

"Please talk to me? I need to know what you're thinking. I can't help you if I don't know."

"I can't."

Chase studied her face. "Why not?"

"Because it would hurt you too much and I can't do that to you."

Chase felt a pang of worry in his stomach, wondering what she was thinking. Did she want to leave him now? Was it too painful to be with him? He hadn't cried at all since it happened. He needed to remain strong for her. But now, he could feel his eyes glazing over with tears of nervousness and fear. Losing her pregnancy was bad enough, but the thought of losing her was too much for him.

"_Please_ Allison."

"I just..." She lifted a fist and then let it drop down onto the mattress in frustration. "I just keep imaging that if I were dead, it would be so much easier than having to feel the way that I do right now." She couldn't look at him. She began to sob, her body shaking.

Chase looked at her face, and her words were enough to make his own tears start to fall.

"No, please don't say that. _I_ need you here. _I_ _can't_ do any of this without you. I _wouldn't_ be able to live if..." but he couldn't finish.

Cameron turned her head towards him, and moved to sit up wrapping her arms around him, in a hug. "I'm not going to hurt myself... I couldn't. I can't do that to you. I _want_ to be here with you. I want to feel normal again.

He lifted his arms around her, but let her hold him, in reassurance, as she stroked his back. "I love you more than anything else in my life," she whispered in his ear.

"You are my life," he whispered back into hers, closing his eyes.

* * *

Please review! I'm addicted to my reviews :)


	14. Fresh Air

WOW! I posted the wrong chapter!!! Sorry about that! here is the ACTUAL chapter 14!!

Sorry for the slight delay! I had some trouble with this chapter. I know where I want to go with it... I'm just not quite how I'm going to get there. Let me know any thoughts you have, and feel free to specualte ideas! I could always use some new ones, and would love to know what you think!

**Chapter 14--

* * *

**

After their exhausting conversation and sharing of emotions, they had fallen asleep together intertwined in each other's bodies, holding on to each other for protection as they slipped into sleep.

* * *

"Allison, time to get up." She awoke to soft kisses on her cheek from Chase.

"Go away, I'm tired. I need more sleep," she moaned rolling over to turn away from him.

"Not today," he said moving to open the curtains letting the morning light filter into the room.

"Robert close the curtains! It's hurting my eyes," said complained pulling the covers over her head.

"No. It's 10am. It's Sunday. I'm not working. And we're going out. Even if I have to carry you out, dressed in your pj's. So... I suggest you get up." He moved over to her, and pulled the covers down.

She looked at him and glared, but gave in. She held out her arms and he grabbed them, pulling her right out of the bed and onto her feet.

"Ugh I feel gross. I'm going to shower." She moved into the bathroom and turned on the shower, shedding her pj's on the floor. She climbed in and let the warm water run over her head and down her body. It was the best feeling she had felt in days. As she closed her eyes and washed her hair she could almost feel a tinge of normalcy. It only lasted a couple of minutes, but it made her thinks that maybe Chase had been right about everyday getting easier.

She silently made herself promise to try to enjoy the day, and force herself to lighten up a bit.

When she was dried off she changed into a pair of jeans and her favourite blue t-shirt, and she went into the living room to find Chase waiting with two Starbucks cups. He must have run out while she was in the shower.

"Now you look more like the girl I married," he joked, standing up with the coffee cups.

She gave him a small smile as she walked over to him and took the cup from his hand.

"Thank you," she said leaning over to give him a kiss. "So where are we going?"

"Where would you like to go? Today is your day."

She shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I don't feel like doing much of anything in particular."

"How about we go down to the old city for a walk then?" She nodded. He grabbed his baseball cap, and opened to the door waiting for her to exit, and then followed her to their car.

The weather was beautiful. There were no clouds, and the temperature was perfect for spending the day outside, with just the hint of a breeze.

They walked holding hands, and she closed her eyes breathing in the fresh air through her nose. It did feel good to be out of their apartment. She had been spending a lot of time there. And the more time she spent inside, the less she felt like doing anything.

They stopped to look at the vendors along the way, selling small things like jewellery, art and trinkets. Usually Chase had no patience for shopping, but today he coaxed her to look, and was even holding up hideous pieces of jewellery to her, as if considering buying it for her. It made her smile and laugh, the sound of which warmed his heart.

* * *

Sometime after noon, they were sitting on the patio of a local bistro/bar restaurant having lunch. Cameron was actually managing to eat, which felt good.

"Thanks for forcing me out today," she told him sincerely. "I do feel better."

"I'm glad," he smiled at her. "Besides, we needed to do something like this. I don't even remember the last time we had any sort of a date, that didn't include sitting on our couch at home."

She let out a small laugh. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"So... when do you think you're going to be ready to go back to work?" he asked her cautiously.

"Cuddy gave me the next week off, and said I could take more if I need. I think another week should be fine. Anymore than that and I'll be bouncing off the walls."

"So how are you going to keep busy during the week while I'm at work?"

She knew what he was getting at. "Robert, I'll be fine. I'll find ways of keeping busy," she shrugged.

He gave her a small smile, and reached over grabbing the arm of her chair, dragging it over to him.

"Ahh! What are you doing?" she asked gripping the sides of the chair.

"You're too far..." He leaned over and kissed her cheek wrapping his arms around her. He moved his kisses to the small space behind her ear.

"Rob," she blushed when she saw someone at the next table staring at them with a smirk.

He reluctantly pulled away from her neck, sensing her embarrassment. "Sorry, I've missed the way you taste," he said, his eyes studying her as he moved in to kiss her lips.

She let her lips connect softly to his, but when he tried to gain entrance with his tongue, she pulled back quickly.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, I'm just... It's hasn't even been two weeks... I'm not ready to, _do_ anything yet."

He nodded. "I'm not going to jump you here at the table though. I just missed you and wanted to be a little bit intimate."

"We're in the middle of a restaurant... that's not intimate," she said raising one of her eyebrows.

"Fine, wrong choice of words," he laughed.

"Look, I just don't want you to expect anything... for a while. I'm not in the mood for... that kind of _intimacy_ yet," she said using his word to imply what she meant.

"Allison," he said taking her hand into his. "I'm not going to push you into anything you're not ready to do. You set the pace for everything that concerns you. Ok?" He kissed her hand.

She smiled at him and nodded. "I'm tired. Can we pay the bill and get going?"

* * *

The next day Robert had an early surgery at the hospital. He had reset the alarm as Allison had asked so that she would not sleep all day. It went off at 9:30, and she managed to drag herself out of bed and into the shower to wake herself up.

After having some breakfast and coffee she looked around the apartment trying to decide what to do. She noted it had been a long time since she cleaned. She grabbed some supplies and set out to dust, organize, and vacuum. She opened all the curtains to let in light, and opened to windows to let fresh air inside.

Although she was still feeling sad, she was feeling better. It didn't feel exhausting to be out of bed. In fact, she was dreading the thought of even entering the bedroom to make the bed again. It seemed to offer too many memories of the bad feelings she had been having over the past week.

She occupied the next few days by going shopping, which she hadn't had time for in a while, reading in bookstores and coffee shops, and trying to expand on her cooking skills, which didn't always work out as planned. It didn't matter though. Chase ate anything she made anyways.

On Friday she decided to surprise Chase at the hospital at lunch time, and check her schedule for returning to work on Monday. But, as she walked through the hospital, she found that same sinking feeling she had been having the week before. She couldn't help but remember what had happened here just a couple weeks before. She contemplated turning around to go home, but instead continued in to find Chase, happy that she didn't run into any of the doctors or nurses she knew well.

* * *

He did a double take when he saw her standing by the nurse's station outside the OR, and couldn't help but smile as he approached her.

"What are you doing here?" he asked her pleasantly leaning in the kiss her.

"I missed you, and wanted to see if you wanted to have lunch with me," she said giving him a small smile and shrugging.

"Absolutely." He sighed letting out a surprised smile. He was so happy that things were almost back to normal.

***

"Can we go away for the weekend?" Cameron asked him suddenly when he was walking her out of the hospital after they had eaten. "Just to get out of the city for a bit?"

"Oh, babe I wish I could. I have to work this weekend. I'm on call in the OR, but Dr. Steiner has been sick, so I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up being here. Can I get a rain check on that idea?" he asked putting his hands on her waist.

"Sure," she smiled sadly trying not to show him her disappointment. "Maybe next weekend. It was a last minute idea anyway."

She kissed him goodbye and headed home.

* * *

When she arrived back to their condo she looked around for something to do to occupy herself. The place was already cleaner, and more organized than it had even been since they moved in. Finding nothing to do in the living room, or the kitchen, she decided it was time to go through their closet and get rid of things she never wore anymore.

She began with her shoes. Taking out all of the two-dozen boxes that she had stored in spaces around her closet, she began to open the boxes not even knowing what was in each box, or why she had kept some of them.

She was surprised when one of the boxes didn't have a pair of shoes in it, but rather had a small gift bag that she didn't remember. Curiously she removed the bag, and looked at the small gift tag that was on the bag. _"To my love. Congratulations Mommy", _it read. She opened the bag to find a newborn baby Onesie, that read "BYOB", with "Bring your own bottle" written under it, and a picture of a baby bottle.

She smiled softly knowing that that would be something that Chase would find amusing. It was so sweet of him to get this, she smiled sadly. She held up the little piece of clothing, and sighed sadly. Tears began to fill her eyes, and she sat for quite a while on the closet floor, surrounded by shoes, letting the soft tears run down her cheeks.

"I need to get out of here..." she muttered out loud. Looking up and seeing her suitcase stored on the shelf in her closet, she contemplated, biting her lower lip. Her Aunt was always bugging her to come and visit. She lived about two and half hours away in Baltimore. She got up and went over to the phone to call her Aunt.

20 minutes later, after a very brief conversation Cameron was packing a small suitcase.

* * *

You know the drill! **All reviews welcome and loved!**


	15. Leaving

I know I posted the wrong chapter under 14 last time, but it has been fixed, so if you haven't read it, I suggest you do, or this won't make sense!

Please review!

* * *

Chapter 15—

While Cameron was at home packing, Chase was throwing his bloody surgical gloves and gown in the waste bin in the OR. He was supposed to be to be doing a splenectomy, from an emergency trauma case that come into the ER, but the patient had too many other injuries, and had bled out before he could finish. The only upside to this was that he got to finish and go home two hours ahead of schedule.

* * *

Cameron had finished packing. She looked around her room to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything, and grabbed her hairbrush at the last minute, and placed it in her bag. Zipping it up, she picked it up and brought it into the front room and placed it near the door. She went back into the bedroom to get her iPod for the long car ride, and then she would be ready to head out.

Just as she walked back into the living room the front door opened.

"Hi," she said surprised to see Chase coming in. "You're early."

"Yeah, surgery didn't go well," he said shrugging his coat off and hanging it on the coat hook, noticing her suitcase. He furrowed his brows and looked down at the bag for a minute before looking at her. "Are you expecting us to go somewhere? Because I thought I told you that I was on call and I can't leave..." he started turning to look at her. He saw her looking down and biting her bottom lip. _Uh oh_, he thought to himself.

"Let me rephrase that... Are _you_ going somewhere?" he asked narrowing his eyes in confusion.

"I'm... going to spend the weekend... at my aunts in Baltimore," she replied looking at him, searching his face for his reaction.

"You mean the aunt that you always make excuses to, so you don't have to go visit her?"

"Well, it's been a while. I talked to her today and I'm going to go visit."

He didn't answer at first. He wasn't quite sure to make of her sudden need to travel. "Did you know you were going when you visited me for lunch today?" he asked her taking a step in her direction.

"No."

He looked at her sceptically.

"This all happened when I got home."

"So you came home, and called her on a whim, and now you're going to drive 2 and half hours, in rush hour, to see an aunt that you hate spending time with... because?"

"I just feel like getting out of the city. I already told you that," she shrugged.

"You're not telling me the whole story."

"Are you accusing me of lying?" she asked getting more defensive.

"No. I just think something's going on with you. Besides, I thought you were going back to work on Monday."

"I am... but I don't start my shift on Monday until noon. I'll be back in time for it."

Chase studied her for a moment. He wasn't mad or anything. He was confused. "Wait... Were you even going to tell me you were leaving?"

"Well I wasn't going to walk out and just disappear for the weekend," she told him sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

"That's not what I meant Allison. If I hadn't lost my patient... if I had come home in two hours, would you have been gone?"

Cameron didn't answer. She actually hadn't even given it a thought until he brought it up right now. What was she going to do? Call him? Stop by the hospital?

"Of course I would have told you," she said vaguely hoping he would accept it and drop the subject.

"How? On a post-it note on the TV? _Gone for the weekend, see ya,"_ he said with aggravation in his voice.

She moved forward to him and put her arms around his waist. She could feel him loosen in her grip immediately. He usually couldn't stay upset with her, if she showed him physical affection. She was his weak spot. He melted at her touch.

"Rob, I'm not trying to run away from you... I don't need space from _you_. I just need to be away from here. Just for a bit. I understand that you can't go, because you have to work, but I need to go. Please don't be angry or upset with me."

He sighed and kissed her forehead. "I'm not. I just don't understand. I thought you were feeling better. Where did this come from?"

Cameron shrugged. She didn't want him to know that she found the gift he had gotten for her. It didn't matter now.

"Tell Aunt Beverly that I say hi... and call me when you get there. No matter what time it is," he told her finally giving in and trying to force a smile.

"I'll miss you," she offered kissing him softly on his lips.

"No you won't," he pouted softly. He didn't mean it. He was just upset that he had to work and couldn't go with her.

She gave him her, 'don't pout' glance and then smiled softly. He walked her to her car carrying her small suitcase for her. As they said their goodbyes, she promised to call him when she got there, or if she had any problems along the way.

When he leaned forward to embrace her, he kissed along the exposed part of her neck.

"Robert I have to get going," she said pulling his head up off her shoulder. He groaned softly. He was feeling a bit sexually frustrated.

They kissed once more before she got in her car, pulling away, leaving Chase to watch as she drove away.

* * *

Chase made himself something to eat, took a shower and decided to crawl into bed early to watch television, and wait for Allison to call him. He felt so alone in their king size bed, and missed curling up with his wife while falling asleep.

He absentmindedly flipped through the channels, not really find anything to watch, when he came across some soft core porn on the movie network. He knew that this station played this type of show in the evenings, but he had never given it any attention before.

He felt his cock stir immediately. He hadn't had release now in over two weeks. He wanted to respect Allison and the situation, and decided that if she wasn't ready to be physical yet, then he would wait for her. But now he was finding it to be very difficult. After all, she was away now, so he didn't need to worry about her walking in on him.

He rolled over on the bed and reached for the lotion and tissues that sat on her night stand. By the time he got his boxers off, he was already rock hard in anticipation of touching himself. He pumped a bit of lotion into the palm of his hand, and began to rub it all over his shaft. He moaned in delight, his eyes rolling back to look up at the ceiling.

Being perfectly honest, he didn't even need the porn on the television. The way his cock was acting, he wasn't going to last long at all.

He closed his eyes and pictured Allison. He remembered how her skin felt when he had kissed her neck earlier in the evening. He reached his free hand down, and began to massage his balls, while tightening his grasp on his shaft, and moving back and forth faster, moving towards satisfaction.

"Ohh," he moaned as he felt himself teetering on the edge of releases. His face tightened and his body tensed as he hit his orgasm. He quickly grabbed a tissue, to catch his juices before they ended up all over the bed.

He let out a sigh of relief and relaxation. He switched off the television and although he tried to fight it, he slowly drifted off into sleep, trying to remain aware that he would need to answer the phone when it rang.


	16. I wish I were there

Thanks again to my readers! Please continue to review and let me know what you think!

* * *

Chapter 16-

* * *

When Cameron settled in to the guest bedroom in her Aunt's house it was close to midnight. She picked up her phone to call Chase, but was not at all surprised when he didn't answer, the way he slept. He was more comatose than asleep sometimes. She sent a text message to his cell phone, so that when he woke up he could see that she had arrived safely.

She was glad that she had arrived late, so her Aunt Beverly was tired and not in the mood to play a one-sided version of 20 questions. She put on her pink stripped flannel pyjama pants and matching solid pink tank top and slipped under the covers. Exhaustion over took her and she was asleep within minutes.

* * *

When Chase woke up to go to the bathroom he glanced at the clock and saw that it was 4am. Panic struck him immediately that he hadn't heard from Cameron. He went to check his cell phone but it was dead, and he cursed himself for not charging it. He picked up the house line and called her cell phone. It rang three times before he managed to release his breath.

* * *

Cameron woke up to her cell phone ringing rather loudly.

"Shit," she cursed jumping out of bed and hoping that the walls were thick and her aunt did not wake up. She fumbled around in her purse and finally found her phone opening it quickly.

"Hello?" she asked rather annoyed by being awoken at... She glanced at the clock, 4am.

"Hi, sorry... I guess I woke you," Chase said sheepishly from the other end.

"Ugh huh," she groaned flopping back into the bed.

"Sorry, I was worried."

"I called and sent you a text..."

"Sorry my phone is dead."

"It's ok," she sighed letting her eyes close.

"So how was the drive?" he asked trying to make light conversation. He really just wanted to hear the sound of her voice.

"Uneventful... Do we really have to talk about that now?"

"Well what did you want to talk about then?" he asked coyly.

"I don't feel much like talking right now..." she mumbled.

"Oh I see... So what are you wearing?" he asked trying to suppress his smirk, so that she wouldn't hear it when he spoke.

Her eyes popped open. "Are you seriously trying to seduce me with phone sex at 4 in the morning?" she asked lowering her voice even more.

"That depends..."

"On what?" she asked in a curious tone.

"On how you would react if I were suggesting such a thing."

She laughed. Even through her exhaustion she had to admit that he was adorable when he was playing around what he really wanted. She pursed her lips together and decided that this might be fun.

"Hold on," she told him and got up and pushed her pyjama pants to the floor and removed her tank top. She slid back into the bed under the covers. "Back."

"Where'd you go?"

"Ask me again," she said teasing him.

"Where did you go?" he said not getting at what she was implying.

She giggled. "Not that babe... What you asked me before".

His eyes opened wider, and he felt himself stir beneath his boxers. They had never had phone sex. They never had reason to since they were never away from each other. "What are you wearing?" he asked again more slowly, raising his eyebrow.

"Not much... just my lacy pink underwear..." she told him biting her lip. "I got rid of the rest. "

"God Allison, I wish I was with you right now," he sighed frustrated.

"You're the one that said you have to work..."

"Please don't tempt me. I'm so horny right now, I might just be willing to drive to Baltimore to be with you."

Cameron found his honestly to be quite a turn on and felt a small gush between her legs. "If you were here right now, what would be doing to me?"

"Mmm... I would be kissing you. Down your neck, stopping to nibble on your ear." Allison traced her fingers lightly down her neck, where he would be kissing her.

"If you were here right now, I would be rubbing my hands along your back to encourage your kisses.

"If I there right now I would be holding your breasts in my hands, pinching your nipples. Touch your breasts for me babe," he encouraged. "How do they feel?"

Allison reached her hands and cupped her breast, and she used her index finger to rub back and forth over her nipple. She moaned softly into the phone.

"Come on, talk to me babe," he begged.

"Tell me what _you_ would do if you were here," she challenged him. He smirked. He knew this was a big leap for her. She was uncomfortable talking dirty like this.

"I would be sucking your nipple, one then the other. Tracing my tongue around it... catching it in my teeth. I love the feeling of your nipples hardening in my mouth."

"They're hard right now babe," she moaned. "Are you hard?"

He grinned. Now she was getting into it. "Uh huh," he moaned as he moved his hand down to rub himself over his boxers.

"You know what I'm doing now...?" she teased.

"What?" he gasped in anticipation.

"I'm sliding my fingers down my stomach and around my belly button..."

"Don't stop talking to me babe... I need to hear you talk," he begged as his hand found its way into his boxers for the second time that night. _This is so much better than porn,_ he thought to himself closing his eyes.

"I'm sliding my fingers under my panties... ohhh that feels so good."

"If I were with you right now, I'd be finding my way down your body until my tongue found your sweet spot. Can you feel me licking it Allie?" He picked up a steady rhythm moving his hand back and forth, tightening his grip.

"_Yes_," she hissed circling herself in small circles. "Don't you wish my lips were sucking you Robert?"

"Allison I'm so close," he moaned. She could hear his breath hitching and it was enough to push her over the edge.

"I'm coming now," she moaned and breathed heavily into the phone, her hips lifting off the bed. She bit her bottom lip and tried to be as quiet as she could, as she rode out the rest of her orgasm.

A few more strokes and he was coming too. His boxers caught the mess, but he didn't care.

Neither said anything for a long time. They just breathed in silence.

"I bet you're happy I decided to go away for the weekend now, huh?" she teased into the phone breaking their silence.

He laughed. "As fantastic as this was, I still prefer your hand to my own, any day."

* * *

When Cameron drifted off to sleep, after they had hung up, the reasons she had escaped Princeton were far from her mind. She slept more peacefully than she had over the past three weeks.

* * *

---All reviews welcome!


	17. Away

Had a bit of trouble with this chapter. Hope you like it!

* * *

Chapter 17

* * *

The next morning Cameron woke up and was greeted by the smell of fresh coffee. She pulled on her pyjamas that she had discarded on the floor the night before and made her way to the kitchen.

"Well good morning honey bunch," Beverly greeted her, putting down the paper she had been reading, and poured a cup of coffee for Cameron. Cameron took it, and thanked her, glancing at the clock to see it was 11am.

"Wow I can't believe how late I slept," she said sitting at the table. But she wasn't truly surprised, considering her 4am phone adventure with Chase.

"It's good to sleep in sometimes. I'm sure you're working too hard."

Cameron smiled at her aunt. _ Here it comes,_ she thought, waiting for her Aunt to start questioning and nagging her. But she didn't. Instead she offered her something to eat, and then suggested they go out shopping, or for a walk since it was so nice out.

Allison agreed to go for a walk, and after eating, she went to get dressed.

They had been walking for quite a while when they settled on a park bench. They had mostly been making small talk, just talking about their jobs and other such things. Her aunt had been married years ago, but had gotten divorced, with no kids, and never remarried. She had been like Cameron's surrogate mother growing up.

Beverly had not supported Cameron's decision to marry her first husband, and made that very clear at the time. While she was there to offer her support and shoulder when he had passed away, Cameron felt resentful towards her, and over the years since then they had drifted, only speaking on holidays, birthdays, and when Cameron accidently picked up the phone when she was calling.

Cameron suddenly felt guilty.

"I'm sorry," Cameron said suddenly while they were sitting on the bench.

"For what, dear?" her Aunt asked looking at her.

"For not keeping in touch with you. For not taking your advice all those years ago. For pushing you away."

"Maybe I was too outspoken back then. It was right after my divorce you know. I was a bit bitter towards everything and everyone," Beverly chuckled.

Cameron didn't laugh. "Even still, you were trying to do what was best for me, and I shouldn't have been so hard on you. You were always there for me."

Beverly waved her hand. "What's done is done." At this Cameron let out a small smile.

"So..." Beverly started. "When are you going to tell me the real reason that you decided to use my house escape shelter this weekend?"

Cameron looked at her pretending to be confused. "Why would you assume...?"

"Dear, you haven't called me to come and visit in over 10 years. We both might be older, but you're still the same person you were when you were a little girl. Is something wrong between you and Robert?" she asked concern in her voice.

Cameron scrunched her face. "No it's not our marriage. Not directly at least..."

Beverly stayed quiet, encouraging her to speak her mind at her own pace. But Cameron didn't speak. She just looked at the ground not saying anything.

"Well why don't we head back then?" Beverly suggested realizing that she wasn't ready to talk.

"I found out that I was pregnant a month ago," Cameron blurted as Beverly rose off the bench. Cameron brought her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. This was not easy for her.

"Should I congratulate you...? Or is that the problem in itself...?" Beverly searched her nieces face not sure how to react, as she sat back on the bench.

Cameron closed her eyes, as tears began to well up. "I lost the baby. Ectopic pregnancy."

"Oh dear," Beverly said pulling her into a hug.

"I didn't realize how much I wanted the baby until I lost it. I'm a doctor. I _know_ things like this happen. Women miscarry quite commonly. It's not logical for me to be so upset about losing something I never really even had."

"You're allowed to feel however you want honey. Tragedy hits everyone differently," Beverly told her earnestly. "How is Robert dealing with it?"

"He is... was... upset about it. But I think he's more upset that I'm upset, and at the fact that I've been hit so hard by the whole experience. I know he'll want to try again in a little while."

"Do you want to try again in a while?"

Cameron shrugged and took a big breath in an attempt to stop her tears. "I have to go back to work on Monday."

"Says who?" Beverly followed her change in topic, but realized her niece had avoided her question.

"Well I told my boss that I would be ready to start back then."

"_Are_ you ready?" Beverly asked already knowing the answer. "I'll take it your silence means no?" she asked raising her eyebrow when Cameron didn't answer.

"If I go back to work on Monday, that means that I'm moving on. I can't dwell on it or take more time off," she paused for a minute. "I just feel like Robert will expect me to be over it by the time I go back. Back to the way things were before this all happened..." she used her hands to emphasize her point. "It's not that he's not supportive, because he is... but I can see it in his eyes. He didn't even understand why I wanted to come here, why I needed to get away. I just feel like taking a break from everything and everyone."

"Honey, you're welcome to stay as long as you'd like to, but eventually you're going to have to go back. Robert is not going to accept you being away for an indefinite amount of time. _ Especially_ when he doesn't know why. He deserves an explanation, don't you think?"

"Do I even know why?" Cameron sighed in frustration.

"I think you do."

"Feel like sharing your wisdom with me?" Cameron asked her, with a slight hint of sarcasm.

"I think you'll figure it out, when you need to. For now let's enjoy our time together. Shall we go back and make some lunch?"

Cameron got up, and thought silently, as they walked back towards the house.

* * *

Chase waited as he listened to the ringing on the other end of the phone. He had tried Cameron's cell phone a few times already but she hadn't answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hey! I've been trying to call you all day."

"Oh I'm sorry babe. We were out for most of today, and I didn't bring my phone with me."

"That's alright. What did you two do today?"

"Went for a walk, cooked, talked..." she listed.

"Girl talk. Sound like fun..." he smiled.

"It was. It's actually nice being able to reconnect with Aunt Bev. It's been a long time. How was your day? Did you get called in?"

"Yeah, but nothing too serious. I'm really tired though. I had trouble sleeping last night after we got off the phone. I miss having you in the bed with me," he pouted.

Cameron let out a happy sigh. "I miss you," she told him. She really did. They always saw each other daily. "...I have to go now though."

"Already? I haven't got to speak to you all day," he replied sadly.

"I know, I'm sorry. We're going out to hear some live music, and for drinks with a couple of Bev's friends. They're supposed to pick us up any minute and I'm not dressed yet."

"Really? I always say the less you wear the better..."

"Robert."

"Okay."

She pouted knowing that he was upset. "I promise we'll talk more tomorrow, ok?"

"Don't let any men buy you drinks. Show them your wedding band, and punch them if they try," he told her, only half joking, his jealousy breaking through momentarily.

"I promise."

"I can't wait to see you on Monday," he sighed.

Cameron tightened her lips. She didn't want to tell him she might not be heading back on Monday yet.

"I love you, and I'll speak to you tomorrow," she told him instead.

"Love you too beautiful."

* * *

Please review! Even if you don't have much to say, it would mean a lot to me!


	18. The Ultimatum

Sorry this took me a bit longer than usual to get up!

Hope you enjoy and please review! I'm sort of at a block and need encouragement :)

* * *

Chapter 18-

The next day, Sunday, Cameron had just gotten off the phone with Cuddy, in order to extend her leave of absence. She now sat with her cell phone in her hands, Chase's number on the screen. She didn't know how she was going to tell him that she wasn't ready to go home yet.

"You ready Allie?" Beverly asked her popping her head into her room.

"Almost, I just need to call Robert." They were heading out of the city to visit of friend of Beverly's for the day.

She held her breath as she pushed the send button on the phone, and was relieved when it went straight to voice mail. She left him a quick message telling him that she would try to call him when she got back later, and then turned off her phone and left it on the bed in her room, not wanting to worry about what to say when he tried calling her back.

* * *

When Chase finished his surgery he went into the doctor's lounge to check his phone for messages. The first one was from Allison.

He sighed as he listened to it, sitting down on the couch, running his fingers through his hair. She was going to be gone the whole day again, and he wasn't going to get to talk to her. His morning surgery had not gone well, and he had been really looking forward to talking to her.

He called her cell phone anyway, even though he knew it would be off. He just wanted to hear her voice. He smiled softly as he listened to her speak in her serious professional tone on the message.

"Chase?" he heard called. He was shaken out of his daze and turned to see Taub looking at him.

"What?" Chase asked annoyed, knowing this had to do with House.

"House wants you."

Chase groaned in frustration, as he got up and followed Taub out of the lounge, to the diagnostics office.

* * *

"So, who had 3 months in the betting pool?" House asked when Chase entered the office.

"3 months for what?" Chase asked annoyed. "Do you need a surgery consult or what?"

"Geez, all work and no play. I'll get to that. 3 months for how long your marriage would last!"

"I had 6 months," Taub interjected. Chase quickly shot him an angry glare. Foreman and Thirteen stifled their laughter.

"There's nothing wrong with my marriage... never mind. I'm not going to even bother," he said as he started to leave the office, but House followed him out into the hall.

"Don't follow me House," Chase yelled back to him without turning around.

"I just wanted to know if now that you're not with Cameron anymore, I could ask her out," House followed in a tone that was almost mocking.

Chase felt a sharp pain in his stomach. He turned around to look at House and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Do you really have nothing better to do than make up stories about my personal life?" Chase asked narrowing his eyes. He was especially not in the mood for this today. He missed Cameron, and was already having a terrible day without these juvenile antics.

"Are you calling me a liar? Now that's not nice," he responded with a fake pout. "Word on the street is that Cameron has left Princeton and isn't coming back. But by your face, I'm assuming she told you it was just a short vacation?" House asked wiggling is eyebrows.

"How do you even know she's not in Princeton?" Chase demanded.

"Because your wife called me late last night for phone-sex!" he said rather loudly causing a few people that were near to turn and smirk. Chase's eyes nearly popped out of his head, and his face turned red. "Relax blondie. I know she's away because Cuddy told me she's not coming back to work."

Chase didn't say anything but tried to read House's face. He could see that he was being serious. Without another word Chase turned and headed swiftly down to Cuddy's office.

* * *

"When did you talk to Cameron?" he practically yelled as he burst into Cuddy's office.

She looked up surprised by his outburst. "I... this morning. She called me."

"What did she say?"

"Maybe you should speak to her... I don't want to get involved with anything personal between you two," she said cautiously.

"But you told House?" He questioned angrily.

"I didn't tell House anything. He was looking for cases in the ER when I was talking to another doctor about filling Cameron's shifts. You know House. He makes everything his business."

"Did she quit?"

"I can't discuss..."

"DID SHE QUIT?" he yelled practically shaking.

"No," she replied calmly hoping to calm him down. "She said she just didn't feel ready to look after patients here yet. She just wanted some more time off."

He flopped down on her couch. Cuddy got up from her desk and sat down next to him.

"She was supposed to come back from visiting her aunt tomorrow," Chase told her looking at the floor.

"Well, she still might be. I only talked to her about work. Just because she's not working, doesn't mean she's not coming home Chase."

He nodded but he knew Cameron better than to think that it was as simple as that.

* * *

Later that night Chase was exhausted after being at the hospital. He was also angry and upset about what was going on between him and Cameron. The hardest part was that he really didn't know what was going on. He wished that he had the energy to get in the car and drive out to see her, but he didn't even know where her aunt lived in Baltimore.

When his cell phone began to ring he looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Cameron. He felt an ache in his heart. After talking with Cuddy he didn't even want to talk to her anymore. She was just going to lie to him anyways. Reluctantly he answered the phone.

"Chase," he said into the receiver.

"Hey Babe, I didn't wake you did I?"

He closed his eyes and breathed out, her voice sounded so sweet.

"No, I'm up."

"How was your day?"

"Lousy."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Want to talk about it?" She offered.

"No."

Cameron stayed silent for a minute. Chase was being very short with her. _Maybe now isn't the best time to tell him she wasn't planning on coming back tomorrow_, she thought to herself. "Okay..."

Neither one of them spoke for a long while. It was awkward and they could both feel the tension through the phone. "Do you want me to go?" she asked him finally.

He sighed into the phone. "No."

"Well you're not making it easy for me to talk to you. What's going on with you?"

"Nothing is going on with _me_," he said putting emphasis on the last word. "But I'm starting to feel that you had an ulterior motive for wanting to leave town so badly," he accused. The problem was that he wasn't quite sure what he was accusing her of exactly.

"And what exactly would that be?" she asked not sure what he was getting at.

"That you wanted to get away from me."

Cameron pulled her head back surprised at her words. "Why would I have asked you to come with me if I was trying to get away from you?"

"Maybe you knew I wouldn't be able to come, and wanted to cover yourself."

"Where is this coming from Robert?" she asked hurt.

"How could you not talk to me about not returning to work? I found out from House! Are you even planning on coming back tomorrow, or am I supposed to just wait for you whenever you decide to show up again?"

'_Oh Shit,'_ thought Cameron trying desperately to come up with the right thing to say.

"I'm sorry... I..." was all she managed.

"Sorry for what? Does that mean that you're actually not coming home tomorrow?" he lowered the tone of his voice, and now he actually sounded as scared as he felt on the inside. He was terrified of losing her. He could feel his stomach churning with fear.

"I just wanted to spend a little longer here. I'm not ready to come back just yet."

"Allison, you owe me more of an explanation than that. Is this still about losing the baby?" He asked, but she didn't respond. "Can't you just come home so we can talk in person?"

"There's nothing to talk about. It's just how I feel right now. I want to be here," she tried to justify to him.

"Well _I _need you _here_. Doesn't that count for anything?" he asked between gritted teeth losing patience.

"Of course it does. You know I love you."

"I think we should see someone professionally."

"What? No. I'm not discussing our problems with some marriage councillor."

"What do you suggest that we should do then Allison? Since apparently I have no say in any of it, why don't _you_ tell _me_!" he yelled in frustration. He was now pacing around the room.

"I need to think."

"No. There shouldn't be anything to think about. We're married; you can't just... make up your own rules when it suits you best. This isn't even a relationship if we're not talking! We're supposed to moving forwards, not backwards."

Cameron was stunned. "So what are you saying?"

"I'm saying that you need to come home. I'm going to make an appointment at a marriage councillor for as soon as I can. If you don't come to that, then when you do decide to come home... I won't be there."

"Robert, that's not fair. I don't like ultimatums..." she started, but he cut her off.

"I'll let you know the time and place. I love you, and I hope you do decide to come. With that he hung up the phone, and literally felt his heart break in two.

* * *

I know it's super drama-licious, but what can I say. I love writing angst!


	19. Going Home

Hi everyone! Still having a slow flowing process with the writing. Hope you enjoy!

Also, thank you to my usual reviewers! I appreciate you kind words!

And to my regular readers that don't review... I know you're out there! Don't be shy!!I swear I only bite a little...

* * *

Chapter 19-

* * *

Cameron immediately went to talk to her aunt after getting off the phone with Chase.

"Honey, let me tell you a story," Beverly told her after hearing what transpired during her conversation with Chase. "When Bruce and I were married we decided that we wanted to have a family."

Cameron looked at her puzzled. She had always thought her aunt never wanted to have children.

"I miscarried the first time in the fourth month. It put some strain on the marriage. We worked through it. We tried again, and then once more after that. I lost both of those pregnancies in the same way as the first. The doctors weren't sure why it was happening. I wasn't going to try again. It was too painful and emotional for me. We barely talked after I decided not to try again, and I say 'I' because that's what it was. _I_ didn't talk to Bruce about it, and _I_ didn't give him any say. He moved out soon after my decision, and then filed for divorce the first day he could."

"I never knew any of this," Cameron said surprised.

"I know. I don't talk about it much. It's very painful. But Honey, I'm telling you this because you _need_ to work this out with Robert. He's a better man than Bruce ever was, and if you tell him that you don't want to try to have another baby soon or ever he's not going to walk out on you."

Cameron just looked at her aunt.

Beverly just smiled. "He loves you, and he's not going to throw it away unless you give him a reason to."

"Your husband did, and that was after trying _three_ times..."

"Bruce was an ass from the day I met him. Don't compare him to Robert. However, maybe if I had included him in the decision things would have turned out differently..." she trailed. "Look if you're trying to avoid losing him by staying here, you may as well go home. It seems that you're going to lose him if you _don't_ go home. He's willing to work through this. Go home, and talk to him."

Cameron nodded. She knew her aunt was right. She needed to get back and talk to him, and get back to work. She needed things to be normal again. "I'm going to go pack," she smiled softly at her aunt, as she turned to go pack her things so she could head out first thing in the morning. She thought about calling Robert to tell him, but decided instead to surprise him. It was probably better not to call him anyway, considering how their conversation had ended.

* * *

Chase was seething with emotions when he got off the phone with Allison. First, was just plain anger as he threw his phone rather violently across the room to the table by the front door. Quite amazingly it did not break completely. Only the battery fell out. He left it, not caring if anyone could reach him.

He sat on the couch and his emotions quickly turned to sadness and self pity. He was kicking himself for having given her the ultimatum. Who was he kidding? He had waited for her for _so long_ before they had started a relationship, then to say that she loved him, and then again to admit her fears of marrying him, which turned out to be more about not destroying her first husband's sperm than about fear of committing to him. That's what he was used to, waiting for her to adjust to any given situation. She had always done things in her own time, why should this be any different?

And what if she decided not to come back? Was he really going to be able to pack up and move out without resolving the situation with her?

Chase flopped backwards onto to couch and placed his hands over his face, dragging his palms down hard across his cheeks to relieve some tension and frustration. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

The next day after saying her goodbyes to her aunt, Cameron got into her car in the morning and made the long drive back to Princeton. When she entered the city she contemplated whether she should go to their condo or the hospital first. She wasn't even sure if Chase was working since he had been on-call the whole weekend.

She settled on the hospital so she could talk to Cuddy about getting back on the ER schedule. She parked, and took a deep breath as she walked into the hospital.

* * *

"Well I'm glad to have you back, Dr. Cameron," Cuddy told her. "I'd love it if you can start tomorrow. We're running a bit short staffed at the moment."

"Sure. Thanks for being so accommodating," she smiled. Cameron turned to leave.

"Dr. Cameron," Cuddy stopped her. Cameron turned back to her. "Chase is in surgery... that is if you want to see him."

Cameron furrowed her brows questioningly. "Why wouldn't I want to see him?"

"Well I know you two have been having some problems lately. He was very concerned yesterday... he didn't even think you were coming back today."

"Thanks but this really doesn't concern you at all..." she responded annoyed.

"Look, I just don't want you two to screw up what you have going for yourselves."

Cameron gave her a tight smile and a small nod and turned again to leave the office. This wasn't the first time Cuddy tried to infer something about her relationship with Chase, and she wasn't going to discuss it with her. Not saying anything was a much better solution.

She headed over to the surgical wing of the hospital. The doctors and nurses that saw her along the way said 'hello', and a couple told her they were glad she was back.

She looked at the OR board and saw which room Chase was operating in. Since she was not dressed appropriately she decided to go up to the viewing gallery to watch him. She looked down at him working so gracefully on his patient, and a smile formed on her lips.

She noticed immediately the way his shoulders seemed to slouch, which he tended to do when he was over-tired. She felt guilty knowing that it was her fault.

Suddenly he looked up and spotted her, and their eyes locked for a split second before the patient started coding and his attention was called back into focus. Not wanting to cause a distraction, she decided to wait in the lounge instead.

* * *

Chase was operating on a patient when he suddenly got the sense that someone was watching him. He looked up for a quick second before his patient started to code. He wanted to do a double take because he thought he saw Allison in the viewing gallery, but he was too busy shocking his patient's heart. By the time he was able to look back up the gallery was empty, and he was sure that his mind was playing tricks on him, due to his fatigue and emotions over what had transpired with Allison over the weekend, and the night before.

They managed to get a heartbeat, but for the duration of the surgery Chase found that he was extremely distracted. A part of him wanted to call Allison. He wanted to take back his ultimatum, and just drive out there and hold her. However, the other part of him was still frustrated and hurt by the way she was avoiding him. He had yet to see which side of his emotions was going to win.

* * *

When Chase was finished his surgery he exited the OR and walked across the hall in to the surgical lounge. He didn't have long before he was scheduled in another OR. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Cameron standing across the room her back to him reading a newsletter on the bulletin board.

She was wearing dark blue skinny jeans, and a form fitted black patterned t-shirt. Her long hair flowed in waves down her back. She looked absolutely gorgeous. He felt his heart flutter in surprise at seeing her there, and was momentarily reminded of seeing her on his doorstep, when she had finally admitted to her feelings for him.

He didn't say anything. He couldn't manage to find any words.

Having heard the door open and close, Cameron turned to face him, and a small smile came across her lips. "Hi," she said taking a couple steps in his direction. She stopped when he didn't answer right away. He just looked at her. His initial shock of seeing her had not worn off yet.

"Hi," he finally managed.

"I came home," she offered shrugging her shoulders, in a sort of peace offering over their fight the night before. She walked forward closer to him, but before she was able to embrace him he spoke.

"I see that," he responded looking away from her. "I have to go, I have surgery in 10 minutes," he said as he headed for the door.

"Robert wait," she said but he didn't stop. "Chase!" She cried out panic in her voice. He stopped but didn't turn to face her. "Will you please talk to me?"

"Not right now," he said softly but firmly.

"Why not?" she asked tears coming to her eyes.

He turned to look at her, the hurt evident in his eyes as well. "Because I have surgery in 10 minutes, and I don't want to kill my patient because I'm preoccupied with you." He sighed. "Why did you even come here now Allison?"

"I thought you wanted me to come home so we could talk..."

"I did... I do, but what did you expect would happen by showing up now? That I would just drop everything and talk with you right now, because _you_ want to?"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to see you... I didn't think..."

"No, you didn't think. You haven't been thinking a lot lately. You're just being selfish," he blinked at her. "I'll see you at home," he finished before turning to leave the room, leaving Cameron standing alone feeling as if he had just slapped her.

* * *

Please** review** as always!


	20. Not ever

Sorry for the delay on posting this. It's been a busy week. Hope you enjoy!

Reviews appreciated!

* * *

Chapter 20

* * *

Cameron felt awful. Chase's words had stung her hard, mostly because they were true. She was being selfish. And she knew that if he was already this upset with her, it was only going to get worse when she actually talked to him about what was bothering her. She drove home on auto-pilot, without even remembering most of the drive. When she pulled into her parking space she came out of her daze.

When she entered their condo it felt strange. Even though it had only been two days, she felt like it had been weeks since she had been in it. She unpacked her suitcase, and threw a load a laundry into the washing machine.

She wasn't surprised when she entered the kitchen, and the sink was full of dirty dishes. Chase did not enjoy doing dishes. She grimaced at the dried food on the plates and set out to scrub them clean.

After she was done cleaning the kitchen, she sat down and tried to watch television, but she couldn't concentrate. Waiting for Chase to come home was proving to be very nerve wrecking for her. After the way he had reacted to seeing her earlier, she wasn't sure what their encounter this evening was going to turn into. She also didn't know what she intended on saying to him when he confronted her about her recent behaviour. All she knew was that she didn't want to fight with him anymore.

Not being able to concentrate, she went back into the kitchen and decided to make dinner for Chase, for when he came home. Although it was a nice gesture in general, she was hoping that it would soften the tension that was inevitable upon his return home. She realized that she was going to have to go grocery shopping soon, as they did not have much food in the house. She settled on pasta.

* * *

Despite what had transpired earlier in the day, Chase was very anxious to get home and see Cameron. He felt bad for what he said to her, even though he felt that to a certain extent it was true. Even still, he had been harsh. He knew that she was going through something and didn't want to make it any worse for her. After all, he was totally head over heel in love with her.

He was longing to touch her. He wanted to feel her soft skin, and kiss her warm lips. He missed the feeling of her running her fingers through his hair, and the way she smelled when she was close to him. It had been weeks since they had had sex, and despite his frustrations over their current relationship issues, he wanted to jump her. Just thinking about it made him need a cold shower.

* * *

As soon as Chase was done work he hurried home. He stopped outside the door and took a deep breath closing his eyes before entering their home. As soon as he walked in and put his messenger bag down he looked around but he didn't see Cameron. His empty stomach led him to notice that something smelled wonderful. He followed his nose to the kitchen, and leaned on the entryway watching her cook over the stove, as she stirred something in a pot. He couldn't help thinking how adorable she looked with her hair pulled back loosely, while she stood cooking.

"What are you making?" he asked finally, startling her. She jumped and dropped the spoon she was holding into the sauce causing it to splash up onto her arm.

She shrieked grabbing her arm, from the stinging sensation of the hot liquid hitting her arm. "You scared me. I didn't hear you come in."

"I'm sorry," he said stepping forward quickly and wiping her arm with a towel. "Here, put your arm under the cold water," he said turning on the tap. She let him lead her over to the sink and splash the cold running water over her arm. She watched his face intently as he concentrated on helping her. She bit her lip nervously.

"Are you ok?" he asked kissing her arm when the liquid had lightly burned her. She felt herself tingle pleasantly as his lips touched her skin.

"I'm sorry," she told him as he moved to dry her arm off.

"Don't be. I shouldn't have snuck up on you."

"That's not what I meant."

Their eyes focused closely on each other for a long moment before Chase released her arm that he had been holding, and stepped back breaking their gaze.

"So what did you mean then?" He knew what she meant of course. He just needed her to say it.

Cameron sighed. "You were right. About everything you've said to me. That I've been selfish, and that this isn't a relationship at all if we're not talking..."

Chase didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure where she was going with this. "What are you trying to say?" he asked finally when she didn't continue.

"I'm going to try harder to be more open with you and talk to you. I don't want to fight anymore," she took a step towards him until her face was only inches from his. "Can you forgive me?" she asked him, almost seductively, reaching her hands up to the side of his face, as she leaned forward slowly until her lips met his softly.

He didn't respond right away. She pushed forward and tried to deepen the kiss, and she finally felt him loosen, and allow himself to melt into the kiss. Chase's hands found their way onto her hips and he pulled her in closer while they continued to kiss more passionately than they had in weeks.

"I've missed you," he mumbled against her.

Slowly Cameron's hands found their way from his face, down his chest, and she began to rub gently under the hem of his shirt with her thumbs, at the top of his waistline. Just as she was starting to reach her right hand into his pants, he reached down and caught her wrist and gently pulled away.

"Allison stop," he breathed heavily looking into her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"We can't do this."

"Why not? Don't you want me?" she asked hurt.

"God yes. I want you so much," he smiled in frustration, motioning to the bulge in his pants. "But we haven't really spoken in weeks. We still have things that we need to work out together first."

"So why can't I make you feel good first?" she asked quietly, placing her hands back on his waist, and bringing her lips forward and laying a soft kiss on his lips. Chase pulled back once again.

"Because you can't always use sex to escape having to deal with your emotions," he told her firmly.

Cameron stiffened and stepped back from him and turned towards the stove. "Your dinner is ready," she said placing the items she had made on the table.

"Can we finish talking to first?" he asked frustrated.

"It's going to get cold," she said as she turned to leave the kitchen.

"You're not eating with me?"

"I'm not hungry," she shrugged and left him alone.

Reluctantly Chase sat down. If he weren't so hungry he would have gone right after her, but he figured 20 minutes wouldn't make a difference at that point.

* * *

"I was wondering where you ran off to," Chase said standing in the doorway to their bedroom, hands in his pockets.

Cameron was lying on the bed, still fully dressed pretending to be reading. She hadn't turned the page once in the past 20 minutes. She grabbed her bookmark and placed the book on the side table next to the bed.

"Are you ready to talk now?" he asked coming forward and sitting down next to her legs on the bed.

"I don't know what you want me to say," she sighed.

"Let's start with something easy then," he suggested. "How are you?"

"I'm mad," she stated.

Chase turned his body so he could look at her. "If it's about what I said at the hospital today, I didn't really mean it, I was just surprised..."

Cameron cut him off. "No, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. You were right. I have been selfish, and don't," she said lifting her hand to stop him when he started to open his mouth, "try to tell me differently."

"Look I was harsh on you at the hospital..."

"Stop, please. Really Robert, that doesn't matter."

He nodded.

"The truth is that when I decided to go away for the weekend, I didn't go because I was trying to get away from you. I left because I didn't want to lose you."

"I don't understand your logic," he told her shaking his head.

"I was... am scared."

"Of what?" he asked looking at her with worry.

"I don't know," she lied.

"Allison. You know. You've known this whole time. Why won't you tell me?" he asked reaching forward and taking her hand into his.

"I can't," she said avoiding eye contact with him.

"Why not?" he asked, frustration and hurt obvious in his tone.

"You'll hate me."

"I'll what?" he asked in disbelief. "How could you even think that?"

She shook her head, holding in the tears that were forming.

"Why would I hate you? Allison, look at me!" he practically demanded.

"Don't leave okay?" she asked through tears.

"I'm not going anywhere..." he said shaking his head in confusion, narrowing his eyes.

"Promise?"

"You're starting to scare me a little Allison." He could sense the desperation in her voice. "Ok, I promise. Now please tell me, why do you think I'm going to be mad at you?"

"Because I don't want to have a baby," she said looking down.

"That's what this is about?" he let out a small laugh. "That's all?"

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? It's only been a month. We don't have to try to have another baby until you're ready."

She sighed. "I don't think you understand. I don't want to have a baby... ever."

He stood up from the bed and turned around to look at her. "As in, for the rest of your life, you don't ever want to have children?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't want to risk something bad happening again. Look what's happened to us! We fight _all_ the time. A baby was supposed to bring us together not tear us apart. And I miss work. If we have a baby I'm going to have to take off a lot of time of work. I've already lost a whole month of my life. I know it's selfish, but I want my life back. I love you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life... but that's what I want it to be, just you and me."

Chase just continued to stare at her in disbelief.

"Will you just say something?" she pleaded finally.

"I... ugh... wow," he stuttered. "We could get a nanny," he suggested. "You wouldn't have to quit your job."

"I'm not having a child to only have it raised by someone else."

"What if I took paternity leave?"

"Robert, we both know that you would be miserable at home all the time. And it's not your body that's going to have to go through the 9 months of changes."

"This is just so much to process at once," he told her with closed eyes as he shook his head.

"I know, and that's why I didn't want to come home. I didn't know how to tell you. I just don't want you to leave me..."

"Allison, I'm not going to walk away from our marriage because you don't want to have children," he said quietly. "I didn't marry you with the sole intention of using your reproductive capabilities."

"You've always wanted kids," she stated.

He nodded. "I still do. That is not going to change, but I can't demand that you put your body through that. I guess I understand what you're saying, but how could you even make a decision like this without talking to me?"

"What would you say that could change my mind?"

"It's not about changing your mind. It's about being open with each other, talking, _compromise_...

"There is no compromise to me getting pregnant," she stated bluntly.

Chase was about to suggest adoption, but he stopped himself. He knew Allison, and he knew that she was scared. Knowing her, in a couple months time she would change her mind and want to get pregnant after all. But what if she didn't?

Later that night when they were both lying in bed, each on their own sides, he couldn't help think to himself whether he would really be able to handle knowing that he would never be a father.

* * *

Reviews are encouragement, and love :)


	21. Reading Minds

Sorry it took me a while to get this up! I had a lot of problems writing it... not feeling very encouraged lately, and quite busy. I hope you like this chapter!

**Please review**, and if you have any ideas or hopes for what you want to see happen, review or send me a private message! I'd love to incorporate them.

* * *

Chapter 21

* * *

Cameron found returning to work much easier than when she had tried right after she had lost the baby. She was feeling more confident too now that she had finally talked to Chase. He no longer thought that she was hiding anything, and therefore didn't have to feel guilty facing him.

Cameron was still a bit concerned though. Although Chase had denied any resentment towards her for not wanting to have children, she knew that the subject would come up again eventually. It was only a matter of time until he tried to persuade her of pleasures she would surely be missing out on if she never experienced motherhood. She had thought of what she would be missing a lot before she told him her decision. It just seemed like the logical choice at this point. If he pressed her, she would just tell him that she couldn't bring a child into the world knowing that it was always going to come second to her career.

As far as Cameron was concerned, the storm had calmed, her routine was getting back to normal, and she was content to leave things exactly the way they were.

* * *

The morning after the Cameron had finally aired his feelings, Chase made an appointment with a marriage councillor for him and Cameron for Friday morning. He was waiting to see her later in the day to tell her. Especially now, with what she had told him, he felt that the session was more needed than ever.

They had been through so much lately, and he wanted to ensure that they overcame it together, as a couple, strengthening their relationship, and not tearing it apart. He didn't want anything to come between them. He loved Cameron more than he ever thought that he could love another person and he was going to do anything in his power to ensure that she was happy, and well taken care of, so that they could share the rest of their lives together.

The truth was that Chase did not feel as calm as Cameron did about their current situation. How could he, when the decision to have a baby truly rested in her hands? He was happy that things had settled down, but he couldn't avoid the giant purple elephant that she had thrown into their relationship, and expected him to avoid looking at.

Although Chase a had made the decision to let things be for now and not push the subject, expecting Cameron to change her mind about having a baby, he found his free moments filled with an anxious dread because he had no idea how long it was going to be until that day came. He figured supervised discussion were a much safer idea... he hoped.

Although he would never do it, the thought had crossed his mind about tampering with her birth control. However, he knew that that was not something that he was capable of, no matter how much he wanted kids. It was too dishonest. If they were going to have a baby it was going to have to be something that they agreed to do mutually. Otherwise Cameron would end up resenting him, and the situation in which she found herself in. It also wouldn't be fair to their child.

At the moment though, pregnancy was not even a concern at all, considering the fact that they still hadn't had sex since she returned home. Chase counted back in his head, realizing that it had been about six weeks since they had slept together. He hadn't even had a chance to take care of his own needs since she got home. He didn't want to risk her walking in on him.

* * *

"Hey," Cameron heard as she sat doing paper work in an empty ER cubicle.

"Hi," she smiled as Chase leaned in to give her a quick kiss on the lips.

"Got time for some lunch?" he asked sitting down next to her on the bed.

"Sure. Just give me a minute. It seems that no one else is capable of doing paper work. I don't think I can ever take a vacation again," she sighed continuing to fill out the papers. "Ok, let's go," she declared closing the file and standing up. She dropped the papers off at the nurse's station and they walked side by side towards the cafeteria.

"So, I made us an appointment," Chase started not looking at Cameron.

"For what?" she asked looking at him curiously.

"Marriage councillor, Friday morning at 8:00," he answered casually.

Cameron stopped walking and looked at him incredulously. Chase knew she stopped walking, but continued slowly away from her.

She hurried forward to catch up to him. "And... why did you do that?" Her tone took on a bit of annoyance. "I thought we were past that. I came home, I talked to you..."

"Yes, but I told you I was making us an appointment," he shrugged dismissively.

"But... that was before..." she stated concerned, grabbing his elbow, forcing him to stop walking and look at her.

"It was, but I never said I changed my mind."

"And what if I refuse?" she asked challenging him crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest.

"Allison," he said firmly but quietly leaning in towards her. "If you're going to decide that we aren't going to have kids, than the least you can do for me is to talk to a professional. I'm asking you to do this for me," he said looking into her eyes.

She stared into his bright blue eyes that seemed to be begging her to understand and accept what he was asking of her.

Cameron sighed and nodded giving in. "Ok, I'll go."

Chase gave her a small smile and took her hand and brought it up too his lips and softly placed a lingering kiss on the back of her hand. She blushed as they fell in step together and continued on to have lunch.

* * *

Friday morning came all too soon for Cameron, as her and Chase pulled up to the office building where their psychologist was.

"How did you find this person?" Cameron asked as Chase parked the car.

"Someone I know recommended her."

They walked into the building and stopped at the door.

"Divorce and marriage counselling," Cameron read out loud lifting her eyebrows. "Something you're not telling me?"

Chase looked appalled. "How can they even have a divorce lawyer in the same place as a marriage counsellor? It's that... discouraging?"

Cameron nodded. "You wanted to come," she said slightly amused placing her hand on his shoulder.

Chase opened the door and they sat in the waiting room. It was just before 8am, and even the secretary hadn't arrived yet.

"Dr. And Mrs. Chase?" a friendly voice greeted entering the room. Chase and Cameron were both surprised by the woman that entered the room. She was a middle aged woman with a kind face. However, she had short curly hair that flew wildly around her head, and wore clothes that resembled something hippies would have worn in the 70's.

"Yes," Chase said stepping forward. "This is my wife, Dr. Cameron actually."

The psychologist looked Cameron up and down. "Nice to meet you. I'm Nina Wiser. Please call me Nina. Right this way."

Cameron and Chase looked at each other, before entering her office.

"So, how long have you been married?" Nina asked sitting down in her chair with a notepad and pen.

"About 4 months," Chase told her. "We worked together for 3 years, and dated for two before that.

"How can I be of service to you two today?" she asked smiling, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. "What are you hoping to accomplish in this session?

"Well," Chase started but was stopped.

"If it's alright, I'd actually like your wife to answer the question. Dr. Cameron?"

Cameron was surprised. "Allison, please. Umm... I guess I'm not sure myself. Robert wanted to come."

Nina smiled encouragingly, urging her to continue.

"We've hit a bit of a rough patch recently, but we're working through it." Nina nodded but didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue.

"We lost a pregnancy not too long ago," Robert interjected sensing Cameron's hesitance to bring it up. "And we sort of lost communication after that."

Cameron looked down at her lap not saying anything. Robert reached over and took her hand into his, and rubbed his thumb over hers reassuringly.

Nina asked some more questions about the pregnancy, and Chase told her about Cameron's depression, time off work, her vacation, and the recent decision not to have any children. She asked a lot of question about Cameron not wanting kids.

Cameron sat quietly not saying much unless she was asked a direct question. It's not that she wasn't comfortable; Nina was very kind and sympathetic. Perhaps it was more the fact that she could sense Nina looking right through her. She narrowed her eyes at Cameron's responses, as if she was challenging her. She could read her too well, and that scared Cameron.

"I was wondering if I would be able to talk to each of you separately. If you both don't agree, we don't have to. Technically in counselling you are both entitled to hear what you each say, but I feel that it may be beneficial," Nina suggested. "Traditional confidentiality does apply. Therefore I will not repeat anything that you tell me. So please don't ask me too!" she said in a jovial manner.

"Sure," Chase said looking at Cameron. "If you think it will help."

Cameron nodded.

"Allison, how about we start with you? Ladies first," Nina said. Chase rose and exited the room closing the door behind him.

"So, I can tell that you don't want to be here," Nina started as soon as they were alone.

"I'm sorry. It really isn't anything against you. I'm just not one for therapy of any sort... and I don't think that we need it." Cameron was avoiding eye contact with her.

"Allison, it is very obvious that you and Robert love each other. I don't doubt that for a second, and believe me when I say that in a lot of the cases that I see, that is not the case. This being said, I need to ask you why you are telling Robert that you don't want children, when I know for a fact that this is not the case."

Cameron looked up shocked. How could this woman that has known her for twenty minutes have delved into her mind so deep?

* * *

Please leave a comment after the beep.... beep!!!


	22. Symptom

Sorry my posts are getting further apart. It's been really busy, AND I just got engaged... so now I have SO MUCH to do. It's overwhelming! But, in my happiness I wrote you some smut... so enjoy!

I'll try to post again soon!!

* * *

Chapter 22-

* * *

Chase sat nervously in the waiting room. He kept shifting in his seat, flipping idly through a magazine, before pacing the room and then beginning the whole routine again. He was nervous about Cameron being in with this woman by himself. He didn't know her, or what kind of advice she might give to Cameron.

He was also feeling a bit guilty. Even though Cameron had nodded in agreement to staying alone with the councillor, he knew that she hadn't wanted to come, and felt a bit guilty for leaving her side. But it was good that she was talking to someone, he reasoned with himself.

When the door opened 20 minutes later, Chase looked up to see Cameron exiting the room, eyes red and swollen from crying.

"Are you okay Babe?" he asked moving forward to comfort her, placing his hands on the side of her arms.

She closed her eyes and sighed lightly. "I'm fine really. Go in," she told him. "Nina is quite... perceptive."

"What does that mean?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing. Go," she told him, pushing him lightly towards the door.

* * *

"Welcome back," Nina told him as he sat down on the couch.

"Is Allison ok?" he asked straight away.

Nina smiled. "Why are you concerned that she isn't?"

"Because... she was crying."

"People cry for many different reasons."

Chase didn't look convinced.

"You are a good husband," Nina told him mater of factly.

Chase was a bit taken aback by her blunt statement. "Did Allison say that?"

"She didn't have too. I can tell by your concern for her," she told him. "Why do you feel such a need to protect her?"

"Because I love her. I'll do whatever I can to make her happy, and keep her safe," he told her honestly.

Nina nodded. "Why did you feel it was so important to come here today Robert?"

"For all the reasons we talked about before. We haven't been communicating well. I thought having a neutral third party would help."

Nina nodded again. "Usually couples who come here for that reason have something that they're fighting about."

"I'm not sure I know where you're going with this..." he told her confused.

"Were you hoping to convince her to have children with you? That I could maybe convince her?"

Chase realized what Cameron meant when she said Nina was perceptive. "That obvious huh?"

"Well, maybe not obvious, but have been doing this a long time," Nina smirked. "If I were to ask you to name the one main problem that is affecting your relationship what would you answer?"

Chase sighed. "I guess that Allison doesn't want to have kids anymore."

"I'm going to tell you something that I think you may find a bit confusing, but please try to follow me on this."

"Okay..."

"When you really look at the problem or problems that are affecting your relationship with your spouse, one of the biggest problems is that people believe the symptoms of the problem are the problem itself. Are you following me?"

"I'm not sure...?" he asked a bit confused.

"Ok. For instance, if one spouse cheats, many people think that an affair is the problem that leads to a break up."

"Well wouldn't it be?" Chase questioned.

"Not necessarily. You need to question what would cause the spouse to look elsewhere, and begin the affair. The affair is a symptom of a deeper problem, like lack of intimacy, lack of attention or boredom. If you do not deal with the underlying problem, you can stop the current affair but fail to prevent future affairs," Nina explained.

"So what are you trying to tell me here?" Chase narrowed his eyes, trying hard to grasp what she was saying.

"Apply your concern to the theory."

Chase stayed silent in contemplation. "So you're saying that Allison's not wanting to have a baby is not the main problem, but rather is a symptom of something else?"

Nina nodded, happy that he caught on.

"But what could possibly be a bigger problem than that?" he asked, slightly horrified that to him, not much else seemed to cross his mind that could be deeper.

"This is where our time runs out, I'm afraid. Talk to your wife. You're a logical guy... put some of your reasoning skills to good work," she told him with a wink.

* * *

After work that day, Chase and Cameron were driving home.

"I'm glad we went to the session this morning," Cameron said, surprising Chase.

"You are?"

"Yes. Nina was great. I enjoyed my talk with her."

"What did you talk about?" Chase asked as he pulled into the parking space. He knew he was pressing his luck.

"I believe that's confidential, Mr. Chase," Cameron told him mischievously undoing her seatbelt and leaning over to him. She looped her arms around his neck, as he turned his head towards her and met her lips for a kiss.

When they pulled back from the short kiss their eyes met each others, and quickly moved forward again deepening the kiss. They tongues gently massaged each others, as the intensity began to rise, and Chase's hands began to find their way up the back of her shirt.

Cameron pulled back.

"What's wrong?" Chase breathed heavily.

"Not out here, let's go in," she said as she backed off and opened the car door and moved towards the stairs outside the building. When she turned back, she found that Chase was still in the car watching her with a smile on his lips.

"Are you coming, or should I start without you?" she asked. She motioned her finger in a 'come here' motion, and he hurried out of the car and up the stairs to catch up with her.

As he walked passed her he grabbed the side of her body and gave it a squeeze, causing her to yelp from the tickling sensation.

When they got to their door Chase pulled out keys to unlock the door, and Cameron was right beside him, on her toes reaching to nibble on his neck, causing him to be distracted and fumble with the key, missing the hole to unlock the door. Finally when he managed to unlock it, they stumbled in, and dropped their things in a heap on the floor.

They quickly found each other's lips again Cameron's fingers worked fast at unbuttoning Chase's shirt. She almost succeeded in getting it off of him, but was stopped by her own shirt being pushed over her head.

Chase ran his hands up her bare arms, sending shivers up her spine. She moaned in desire into his mouth, pushing herself forward against his bare chest, while she pushed his open shirt to the ground.

Without losing contact with her mouth, Chase managed to unbutton her dress pants, and let them fall down her legs, revealing the purple lace underwear that was hidden beneath. She stepped out of them as her hands roamed over his back, and up his neck.

Chase placed his hands on her ass, and began to push upwards, giving Cameron the cue to jump up and wrap her legs around his waist.

"Much better," he stated as he walked them to the bedroom. Her lips had begun to trail over his jawbone and towards his ear which she was biting and kissing. He moaned in delight, not even making it to the bed, but instead pushing her back up against the wall just outside the room. Her trailed his kisses down her neck, pushing her bra aside, to let her breasts fall out, as he took one of her nipples into his mouth and nipped at it causing her to call out his name.

Chase really wanted to take her right there, against the wall, and make her scream out his name, over and over again, but he felt that at the moment he wanted to take his time and enjoy every bit of her body that he had missed over the past weeks.

He pulled back and looked at Cameron as she panted, trying to catch her breath.

"Fuck me," she breathed huskily.

It took an awful lot of restraint, but he managed to shake his head. "I don't want this to be over too fast. I want to take my time, and make love to every inch of you," he assured her.

She nodded silently and kissed him slowly and passionately. "Is that a promise?" she asked as he carried her through the entrance of their bedroom.

"Definitely."

He laid her down slowly, and pulled back to look at her.

"You're so beautiful," he told her. She blushed and reached forward pulling him down on top of her, wrapping her legs around his back.

Chase began to move his lips trailing his kisses down her neck, between her breasts, and down her stomach, stopping at the top of her underwear.

"These are so sexy..." he told her between kisses, as he nuzzled his nose between her thighs, smelling and feeling her wetness.

Cameron was moaning impatiently as Chase took his time and refused to give in to her begging.

He slowly kissed his back up and leaned down and passionately kissed her. He reached his hands behind her, as she arched her back to help him, as he undid her bra and she tossed it away from the bed.

"Take these off me," she ordered breathlessly, as her hands played around the elastic of her underwear.

"No please?" he asked mischievously.

Cameron playfully rolled her eyes. "_Please_ take these off me."

"Or what?" he played.

"Or... I won't make any noise when you do me... and I know how you love when I do..." she told him tapping the tip of his nose.

"Is that a challenge? Cause you know how competitive I can be."

She just shrugged playfully.

Chase slid his focus down her as he began to suck and nibble on her nipples. Usually this would have brought a deep moan from her throat, but she was staying quiet, even though she was truly enjoying it.

After both breasts were properly attended too, he slid down and grabbed the top of her panties and slid them down her legs. He smirked to himself when her panties were soaked. He leaned in and circled her clit with his tongue.

"Tell me how much you want it Allison..." he said pulling back.

She said nothing but gripped the bed sheets tight. So tight in fact her knuckles were turning white.

Chase chuckled, as he leaned in to continue to bring her over the edge with the quick motions of his tongue. He was surprised how quiet she was managing to be. He could tell when she was going to cum, because her legs started to shake as she lost control.

She came fast and hard, and the only sound she let out was that of heavy breaths. She knew that Chase would be disappointed. She smirked inwardly.

As he slid up the bed he reached forward and pressed her shoulders onto the bed, hoisting himself over her, so that he hovered once again. "Looks like I'm going to have to try harder, huh?" he teased.

He leaned down and kissed her passionately again. She could feel his erection nearing her entrance.

"Get a condom," she told him.

He studied her fact for a moment, disappointed, but leaned over and opened the bed-side table and retrieved one, pulling back to put it on.

Not wanting to wait any longer, Chase slid into her slowly, wanting to give her time to adjust, since it had been a while. He began to thrust slowly.

In the beginning his speed was slow and passionate. But he slowly increased and pushed into her harder and faster. He needed to make her scream. Admit that she wanted it so bad that she couldn't keep quiet.

He didn't have to wait long. She began to match his thrust, and her heavy breathing quickly turned into low moans, and when his thrust pushed her over the edge she gave up on her silence.

"Oh God Robert! Oh my god!" she screamed.

Chase let out a few groans at the sound of her voice, his pleasure increasing as well.

"Oh Allison, I'm so close..." he told her lowering his head to rest in the crook of her neck as he continued his thrust, and then as he came he lost his breath and gasped in pleasure.

Chase rolled over and pulled Cameron so that she was resting on top of him, still inside of her.

"You lost the bet," he breathed heavily.

"I guess I did."

"What do I win?"

"How about I let you rest for a short while, and I show you? She grinned. He liked the way that sounded.

* * *

REVIEWS ARE LOVE!!! and encourage me to post faster!!


	23. Compromise?

Sorry it's been so long! Life has been CRAZY, and I'm going away for a week and a bit... so I'll try to post again before I leave in a couple of days, or right when I get back.

I may be nearing the end. I feel people may be getting bored with this... and I may be too... We'll see. Let me know!

Enjoy!

* * *

Chapter 23-

_1 month later-_

Both Cameron and Chase could not deny that since their therapy session with Nina things between had returned to normal... or as normal as things ever were. Chase stopped bringing up having children, and Cameron was relieved. What she did not know is that Chase was still constantly thinking about it.

That night he was going to finish work before her. He smiled to himself, deciding that he was going to surprise her when she got home. He wanted to discuss the topic, but first he wanted her to be in a very happy and giving mood when he did.

* * *

When Cameron came home that night she walked into the apartment to find the lights off and a few candles lit around the apartment. She smiled. "Robert?"

Chase stepped out of the kitchen with a half dozen red roses and baby's breath flowers tied with a ribbon in a bouquet.

Cameron walked over to him taking the flowers. "Thank you!" she said truly delighted, as she leaned in to kiss him. "What's the occasion?" she asked still smiling.

Chase leaned in closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Do I need an occasion to let you know how much I love you?"

Cameron contemplated his words for a few seconds but decided not to read into it. She loved the romantic gesture. She brought the flowers to her nose to breathe in the sweet smell of the roses. She lifted her chin up to kiss him softly on the lips.

"Thanks babe," she smiled.

"You hungry?" he asked back her up into the kitchen, his arms still around her waist.

"Very much so. Did you cook?"

"No, I picked up Chinese. I can only be so romantic," he smiled moving to pull out her chair.

* * *

Chase insisted on doing the dishes. When he was done, he joined Cameron who was reading the newspaper on the couch. He dropped down on the couch next to her and pulled her onto his lap. She lightly tossed the paper onto the coffee table and shifted in his lap so she could look at him.

"This was nice, thank you," she smile and she kissed the tip of his nose.

He smiled. "I'm so happy its Friday. I plan on spending the next 48 hours with you."

"Doing what?" she asked lifting her hand to brush her fingers through his hair.

Chase slowly slid his fingers under her shirt, and ran them softly over her ribs towards her breasts. "I'll give you one guess..."

"I think I may need a hint?" she joked frowning.

Chase smirked and leaned in and began to kiss her hungrily pushing his tongue into her mouth. She reciprocated immediately running her tongue softly along Chase's bottom lip, nipping at it with her teeth. She shifted so she was straddling Chase's legs. A small moan seeped from Chase as Cameron's tongue slid into his mouth, and her hand slid onto the bulge in his pants.

Chase pulled away from the kiss, placing kisses along her collarbone and up her neck, breathing into her ear. She whimpered softly as his hands undid her bra and he stroked her nipples, not even bothering to remove her shirt or bra. Cameron moaned as Chase's hand stroked her through the pants, the pressure each time increasing. She was dying to have him touch her. Chase unbuttoned the top button and slid the zipper down.

Not being able to take his restricted movement any more, Cameron got up and undid her pants sliding them to the ground. Chase watched as she wiggled her hips to push her pants to the ground.

Instead of climbing back onto his lap, she got down on her knees and unbuttoned Chase's pants. He could barely keep his hips still with anticipation.

In a couple of quick motions Chase managed to push his boxers and pants to the floor, and coaxed Allison into a position on top of him, but not before sheathing himself with a condom.

Both of their moans grew louder as they felt their climaxes getting close. Chase sped up his movements and before long, Cameron was calling out his name in ecstasy. Chase moaned and collapsed back into the couch soon after.

* * *

Later that evening they were laying in bed, in each other's arms, exhaustion over taking them, after their second love-making session of the evening.

Chase was looking into Allison's eyes, as he reached his hand up to caress her cheek.

"Let's adopt," he said quite suddenly. Or so it seemed to Allison.

"What?" She asked not sure if she was hearing right.

"I want to adopt a baby."

Allison pulled out of his embrace and rolled onto her back.

"I thought you understood why I don't want to have a baby..." she stated getting rather frustrated that he was bringing it up again.

"I do. Your main reasoning's stem from you not wanting to be pregnant, and take too much time away from work... I understand that. But if we adopt you won't go through the physical changes, and I can take time off since you won't be breast feeding." He knew he was being rather bold, but he was testing the waters with her.

"What's wrong with the way things are right now?" she asked rolling onto her side, so she was facing away from him.

"Nothing. I don't want to adopt because I'm trying to fix something in our marriage. I just don't understand why you won't consider it. It's a good compromise."

"But it won't be _our_ baby," she argued.

Chase sat up in bed and looked at her incredulously. "_You_ refuse to have a baby that is biologically _ours_. It would still be our child... even if you didn't give birth to it... You're being ridiculous."

Allison didn't answer.

"Why are you being like this?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Yes you do. Why are you still lying to me about this? I _know_ you want kids. What could be so bad that you would rather lie to me, and not have children, just to hide from me?" Chase lightly grabbed her shoulder and pulled her towards him, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"What makes you think I want a baby?" she asked not looking him in the eyes.

"I _know_ you. You're my wife. I love you, and I've watched you for the past month... the past 5 years. I know that you want to be a mother Allison."

A stray tear slid down her cheek. Chase reached forward to wipe if with his thumb.

"I want a baby... but I can't have one," she said quietly after several minutes of silence.

Chase looked at her, but did not speak. He wanted her to continue, but when she didn't he spoke up.

"Why not?" He was truly confused.

"Because I can't have one."

"Love, I have no idea what you are trying to say here..."

"This ectopic pregnancy... our baby... it wasn't my first one," she admitted shyly, more tears beginning to fall.

Chase's eyes opened in shock. "What?" he managed to stammer.

* * *

Review please!


	24. Secrets

Hey all! Sorry it's been so long. I had a guest at my house and had no time to write in peace, and then I was unable to upload. As always, hope you enjoy, and read and review!

* * *

Chapter 24

* * *

What makes you think I want a baby?" she asked not looking him in the eyes.

"I _know_ you. You're my wife. I love you, and I've watched you for the past month... the past 5 years. I know that you want to be a mother Allison."

A stray tear slid down her cheek. Chase reached forward to wipe if with his thumb.

"I want a baby... but I can't have one," she said quietly after several minutes of silence.

Chase looked at her, but did not speak. He wanted her to continue, but when she didn't he spoke up.

"Why not?" he was truly confused.

"Because I can't have one."

"Love, I have no idea what you are trying to say here..."

"This ectopic pregnancy... our baby... it wasn't my first one," she admitted shyly, more tears beginning to fall.

Chase's eyes opened in shock. "What?" he managed to stammer.

The first thoughts that ran through Chase's mind was if she had lost a baby while they were together. Had she hidden it from him? He was almost afraid to hear what she had to say. Things had _finally_ become more normal between them, and then suddenly... well... this.

"This wasn't my first ectopic pregnancy," she repeated to him.

"Was it mine?" he asked in disbelief.

She shook her head from side to side, keeping her eyes glued to his face to judge his reaction. "It wasn't yours.... It was a long time ago. It was way before I even met you. Even before my husband. I didn't even know I was pregnant. I went to the doctor for stomach pains, and next thing I knew they were telling me I was about to lose my baby that I didn't even know I had."

His eyes flew down to her stomach, as if he could still see the evidence there. He didn't know what to say to her. Reassurance didn't seem appropriate. He couldn't even bring himself to look at her.

"I was really young," she told him, as if that changed the situation that were being faced with.

He started to say something, but she tried to stop him, by moving next to him and putting her hand on his. He wasn't going to let her end the conversation though. Not yet. Not with so much left that had not been explained, and had not been said.

"How... How could you not tell me any of this?" he asked, pulling away from her in disbelief. He was more hurt than anything.

"I thought that maybe now that I'm older, somehow things would be different. And after I lost our baby... I didn't want to tell you because I knew you would be upset with me. I just didn't want to hurt you... I was afraid you would not want to be with me if I couldn't have children."

"Why? Because I'm a shallow bastard, that doesn't give a damn about you? You always seem to think the worst of me," he told her shaking his head in disbelief.

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is Allison! You _always_ do this. You keep things from me and then tell me at the last possible moment. You did this about your husband's sperm," he almost spat. "And you did this when you got pregnant too! How am I supposed to know if you're hiding anything else from me?"

"I'm not keeping anything from you! I would have told you about this if I had thought it was going to be relevant. It was so long ago... I _never_ thought that this was going to happen. I had no reason to believe that this pregnancy would be ectopic."

"But there were signs Allison. Small problems from the beginning of the pregnancy that you chose to ignore. You should have said something then."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, ok?"

"No it's not ok. Instead of telling me then, you lied to me, and decided that what? You would lie to me and keep on covering your lie for the rest of our lives?"

"I don't know. I guess I never thought I would have to tell you about the first pregnancy."

"Why not?" Chase asked defensively.

"Have you seriously told me everything about your life before you met me?" she challenged.

"The important things, yeah. I mean this isn't some little detail of your life."

"I know, but I was a stupid teenager. I don't even like to think about it," she sighed, not looking at him.

"God Allison," Chase exhaled in frustration choosing to not let the topic go. _You knew _this had happened before. You should have seen a specialist as soon as you got pregnant. You should have _never_ let it get at far as it did... I mean you needed surgery for Christ's sake Allison. You said it yourself! You could have died! How could you be so... _stupid?_"

Cameron winced at his words but she knew he was right. She had sunken herself so deep into this mess from the beginning, she wasn't even sure she would ever be able to climb out of it. She had never seen Chase this mad at her, and she felt the fear of losing him grow inside of her, and rise up into her throat. It came out in the form of a sob, as the tears began to flow freely out of her eyes.

"_Please_, Robert, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen."

"I know you didn't," he through clenched teeth trying to control himself so as not to lash out at her. "But it did, and now it's too late to go back."

"What do you mean?" she asked him frantically.

"I have to get out of here," he said getting up and putting on pants and a t-shirt, grabbing his wallet of the dresser.

"Don't leave, can we please just talk about this?" Allison begged standing up and moving to the doorway to block his exit.

"Cameron, move."

"Don't go, it's the middle of the night," she tried to reason.

"Please, let me go, before I do something I will regret," he sighed angrily.

Cameron, closing her eyes to try to stop her tears, took a step to the side and let him pass. Not even a minute later, she heard the front door swing closed, and couldn't help but wonder what this meant for them.


	25. Drinking Alone

Thanks to my readers (who I know are out there because of all the alerts i get!), and to my readers who a review a super extra special thanks. It means a lot to me!!

Thanks all!

* * *

Chapter 25-

Cameron sat for a long while after Chase had made his exit from their home. It scared her that he had left without resolving their argument. Usually Chase was the one that wanted to discuss things like this and work them out, but this time she had really hurt him.

Even when she wasn't sobbing and crying anymore, the tears still managed to find their way down her face, until her cheeks and eyes were burning from the saltiness. Stripping out of her pyjamas she climbed into the shower, and turned the water on as hot as she could stand without it burning her skin. It felt good.

She leaned forward and let the water fall on her face, as she closed her eyes. She felt the hot water beat off her skin, and mix with her tears so that she wasn't even sure if she was crying anymore.

When she finally turned off the water and got out of the shower, her body was numb from the hot water. She really didn't mind though. It was better than feeling the heavy whole in her chest that reminded her of what she had hid, and how she had hurt Chase.

She knew she should leave him alone to calm down, but as she moved the dresser to pull out one of Chase's shirts to sleep in, she noticed that he had left his wedding ring on it. She picked it and starred at it laying in the palm of her hand. She chewed her bottom lip in contemplation, not really sure if he had left it as an accident.

She placed the ring back down and headed to the phone to call Chase's cell phone. She wasn't surprised when he didn't answer.

* * *

When Chase left the apartment he wasn't sure where he intended on going. He shoved his hands in his pockets, and headed down the street, with no end goal in sight. He just needed to walk it off. However, at this point with the way he was feeling, even if he walked across the country he wasn't sure if he could possibly feel better about what had just transpired in his bedroom.

He knew the way he had left the conversation had scared Allison. B_efore I do or say something I will regret,_ he had said. Although it was true, and he had meant it, he hadn't intended it to sound so much like a threat. He would never raise a hand to her, but sometimes words can be just as bad. The truth of the matter was that he was terrified himself, of himself, and what he would do if he lost the only woman he ever loved, and what he might have to do to be able to keep her. Was he always going to have to make sacrifices to keep their relationship at ease? Or maybe it simply wasn't something that was meant to be fixed.

A while later Chase stopped walking and looked around him. He was tired but he didn't want to go home, and deal with Allison yet, and he didn't want to go to work where people might inquire as to his presence. He spotted a bar, but hesitated before going into it. He hated to drink alone. It reminded him too much of his mother. Although he was usually fine as a social drinker, he tried especially hard not to drink when he was upset. He had always promised himself that alcohol was not a substitute for feeling emotions. This night however, he decided that he _needed_ a drink. He deserved one after all that had happened. Didn't he?

He walked in and sat down at the bar. There were a few other people scattered throughout the bar, despite the late hour, or rather early hour. In the back corner there was a group of girls, being quite loud, downing shots.

"What can I get you?" the bartended asked.

"Whatever's on tap, surprise me," Chase mumbled without looking up.

The bartender grunted and filled his glass placing it in front of him. Chase felt his phone vibrate in his pocket and pulled it out, not at all surprised to see the word 'home' calling in. He debated answering it, just to let her know he was alright, but quickly decided against it. He felt that he had certainly earned the right to not take her call. When it stopped ringing, he opened the phone and turned it off, placing it back in his pocket.

"Excuse me?" Chase turned towards the voice.

Standing in front of him was one of the girls that he assumed was from the party in the back of the bar. She was tall and slim, with brown wavy hair falling just below her shoulders.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if I could have your phone number."

"My... number?" Chase asked surprised, not quite feeling flattered but rather confused.

"Yes, if you could just write it on my hand, right here," she said point with her pen.

"I don't..."

"Look," she whispered trying not to move her lips. "I'm here for my friend's bachelorette party, and I have to get a random guys phone number. If you don't give me yours, I'm going to have to ask Baldy McPotBelly, over there."

Chase grinned for the first time, since his ordeal at home happened. He took her pen, and wrote his cell number on her hand, changing the last digit, just for safe measure.

"Thank you so much!" she said leaning in to kiss his cheek. He was surprised, but just as she pulled away from the kiss she whispered, "Please don't let on that I told you why I needed it." Even more surprising to him was the way the hairs on the back of his neck stood, at the warmness of her breath.

Chase winked at her, and she calmly turned back to her friends.

"Single and Australian!" she called to her friends holding up her hand to show the number.

"I'm not..." _single_, Chase began to say, but as he raised his hand to show his wedding band, he realized that his finger was bare. Usually he was proud to wear it, as it was a symbol of his wonderful, gorgeous wife, but tonight, he had left the ring on the dresser at home. He lowered his hand and turned back towards the bar in his seat, not really caring that he wasn't wearing it.

* * *

You know the drill!


	26. Decisions

Thanks again to my readers, and especially my reviewers!

**Chapter 26-**

* * *

A while later, and many beers later, Chase was still sitting on the same bar stool, starring at the TV screen on the wall. He wasn't really watching though. He didn't really care for American football... or rather soccer.

The brunette from earlier sat down on the stool next to him. He smiled politely at her.

"Thanks for saving me before," she smiled. "Can I get you a drink to repay your kindness?"

"Thanks anyways, but I think I'm quite drunk already. One more might not be a good idea... a little too indulgent," he said winking and wiggling his finger. She giggled at his tipsy behaviour.

"Oh," she pouted flirtatiously. "How can I thank you then?"

Chase couldn't help but be reminded of Allison, in the way she pouted. Allison did that when she wanted her way, and when she pouted like that, she usually won. He pushed the thought from his mind. He didn't want to think about her right now. He was too upset and too drunk.

"How about you, let me buy you a drink?" he suggested.

"How is that me repaying you?" she smiled.

"You're thanking me, by allowing me to buy you a drink," he reasoned not quite sure if the sentence even flowed logically.

"Deal," she smiled. She ordered some girly drink that Chase had never heard of that looked green. He thought it looked like a hospital disinfectant, but she seemed more than pleased with it.

"So what's a guy like you doing alone in a bar, on a Friday night?" she asked, using her straw to swirl her drink. "No date?"

Normally Chase would have understood that this was flirting, and she was fishing for information, but he was too drunk, and therefore slightly clueless, to notice.

Chase half laughed, half grunted. "No... No date."

"Lucky me," she smiled sincerely.

"What's that mean, 'guy like me'?"

"I don't know if I should say anything... but you are rather attractive," she smiled.

"Lee, we're going, come on," one girl said to the girl next to Chase.

"I think I'm going to stay a bit longer," she responded to her friends.

Her friend winked at her, and rejoined the rest of the girls by the door, as they noisily exited to the bar.

"You can go you know, I'm fine by myself," Chase told her.

She shrugged. "I don't really feel like going to another bar. We've been bar hopping all night."

"Your name's Lee?" Chase asked her.

"Lillian. Most people call me Lee though. What's your name?"

"Robert."

"Nice to meet you Robert," she smiled.

"You as well."

* * *

Chase was surprised at how the conversation between him and Lee was flowing. True it was mostly her doing the talking, but it kept his mind off of his other issues, though Chase was sure that his _buzz_ was helping with that as well.

They talked a bit about their jobs, Chase told her he was a doctor, but tried not to disclose too much else. She told him she was a graduate student in philosophy.

When Lee said that she had to get going because it was late, Chase offered to walk her home. She weakly protested, but Chase insisted that because of the late hour, it would be better. She was secretly glad. He was extremely good looking, had a sexy accent, was alone, and did not appear to be gay. Lee felt like she hit the bachelor jackpot.

The conversation seized as they walked onwards towards her home. And even through his slight drunkenness, Chase could feel the tension rising. The kind of tension that you get on first dates, when you're not sure how to part ways at the end of the night.

It wasn't that he was really attracted to this girl. She was good looking and all, but she wasn't Allison, whom he really only had eyes for.

However, tonight, perhaps in rebellion, he felt the urge to stop Lee in her tracks and press his lips up against hers. He knew it was the alcohol that was drowning out his sorrows talking, but it didn't seem to matter. He wasn't thinking clearly.

"This is me," Lee said stopping at the front door of an apartment complex.

Chase nodded.

"Thanks, for walking me home, and for giving me your number," she smiled holding up her hand.

"I have a confession," he said stepping forward.

Her eyes lit up in anticipation of what he was going to say or do.

"I didn't give you my real number," he smirked.

She laughed. Although Chase didn't notice, it was more of an awkward disappointed laugh, then a 'that was funny' laugh.

"Well, maybe I can make you want to give me your real number..." she stated leaning in to press her lips against his, her eyes closed. Although he didn't lean into it, her lips found his and before he knew it they were kissing lightly, and then a bit deeper.

Lee let her lips part slightly, begging for Chase's tongue to enter and caress her tongue. His hands moved involuntarily to her hips, as her arms found their way around his neck.

Chase's eyes were closed, but as the kiss deepened he notice that her lips felt wrong, and the way his hands rested on her hips was wrong. _This_ was all wrong. His eyes flew open, as if just realizing what he was doing.

"Want to come up?" she whispered against hip lips.

Chase sobered immediately. "Wait," he said pulling back abruptly.

Lee looked embarrassed. "Sorry, I just thought..."

"I know, but I can't. Oh god. I can't believe I just... Sorry, it's not you... oh god!" He was completely flustered now. His hand was rubbing against his forehead trying to get his thoughts clear.

"You're not single are you?" she smirked getting the idea.

Embarrassed, he shook his head no. _I'm married, _he should have said.

"Fight with your girlfriend?"

_My wife kept a secret from me, so I apparently decided to pay her back by getting drunk and messing around on her,_ he thought, scolding himself angrily wishing he could take it back a thousand times over. "Something like that..."

"I knew you were too good to be true," Lee smiled.

Chase blushed, feeling his guilt growing by the second. How could he have _kissed_ another woman? He never meant for this to happen. This was going to make things so much worse. He felt nauseous. His body was reacting to his betrayal.

"Well thanks... for everything. You know the drink and walking me home. ... And in case it doesn't work out with her, here's my number she said tearing a small piece of paper out of a notebook in her purse and handing him her number.

He smiled at her politely as she turned and entered her building.

As soon as she was out of sight Chase turned and sighed running his fingers through his hair. He felt his guilt begin to rise and quickly moved over to the bushes throwing up the content of his stomach. _And that is why I don't drink alone..._ he thought to himself, as he turned and headed down the street. He thought about going home, but he couldn't climb into a bed with Allison, after getting drunk, making out with a stranger, and throwing up on the street, could he?

However wrong it may be, he felt a need to be near her. He was filled with a fear that if he didn't go home, she wouldn't be there when he did go home. It was technically illogical, but nonetheless, he hailed a cab, and minutes later he was standing on their door step, hand shaking slightly as he entered and put the key in the lock.

As he entered the apartment he glanced at the clock. It was almost 5am. He prayed that Allison was asleep so he could have some more time to think. He had to tell her first chance he got... didn't he?

* * *

So I haven't quite decided if she should tell Cameron or hide it, so I was hopping for some opinions...

**Please review and tell me what you think Chase should do!!**


	27. Guilt

Sorry I know it's been a while. My disapointment over Cameron leaving, or temporarily leaving House took away my drive to write. I know it's short but I wanted to get something out there. If you forget what's going on, check the last chapter... and **read and review!**

Chapter 27-

* * *

That night, Cameron waited as long as she could, fighting sleep, but Chase did not return before she fell asleep sometime in the early morning. Cameron knew this, because she tossed and turned all night waiting to feel the weight of his body getting into bed with her. She wanted him to pull her in close to him, and tell her that he forgave her, and that everything was going to be all right between them. But she knew that this could not happen. It was not ok.

She felt so sorry and guilty for what she had done, and the secret she had kept. She had considered all of the possible reasons for hiding such information from Chase, in the hours after he had left, but the truth was she couldn't think of any, other than the fact that she hoped by not speaking of her past pregnancy problem, that it wouldn't happen again. Almost like a jinx. The situation had exploded in her face, and she was going to do anything in her power to make it right with Chase.

* * *

Cameron awoke to the feeling of Chase sitting on the edge of the bed. She opened her eyes to see that it was almost 5am. She closed her eyes again pretending to still be asleep, trying to think of what to say to him.

She felt him rise, and knew that he was slipping out of his clothes, and then he pulled back the covers and climbed into the bed with her.

What he did next surprised her. She felt him move behind her and spoon against her body, pulling her back tight against his chest.

"Robert?" she asked quietly.

"Shhh..." he hushed pulling his arm tighter around her. She could smell the alcohol on his breath. She wrinkled her nose at the scent. It was quite strong.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," he whispered quietly.

She twisted around in his grasp so she was facing him. She could barely make out his face in the dark room. "Why are you so good to me?" she asked pressing her lips to his chest softly. "After all I've done..." She continued to kiss softly down his chest.

"Stop. Please, you don't..." he begged feeling guilty.

"I want to make you feel good," she breathed quietly against his skin.

"Allison, it's late... ooohh," he moaned and she grabbed his hardening shaft. Before he could object again, she pulled down his boxers and disappeared under the covers, slipping him into her warm mouth.

Chase couldn't keep his eyes opened, it felt too good, and he felt so guilty. The combination of his tiredness, guilt and drunkenness was not helping him to keep control of the situation. He wanted to stop her, tell her what he had done, but he couldn't manage to find the words.

"God Allison, please stop," he finally begged more seriously. "I have to tell you something...."

Cameron didn't get the urgency of his statement, not realizing that he was actually trying to confess to her.

She slid up his body, and straddled him just above his shaft.

"Unless you want to tell me how much you want me to fuck you, I think it can wait," she smirked sexily, catching his bottom lip between her teeth.

Cameron realized what she was doing. The same thing she always used to do. Use sex as an escape from having the deal with her feelings and emotions. She knew despite Chase coming home, and giving in to her seduction, they still needed to talk, but taking advantage of his drunkenness, she knew she could bring them physically together in the hopes of not having another big fight.

As Cameron slipped off her underwear and slid onto Chase, she ground herself against him, moaning, letting herself get lost in the feeling of him being inside of her. She came quickly without a build up and the surprise and intensity of her orgasm hit her, making her slow her grinding against him. Frustrated, and wanting to finish, Chase flipped them over so that he could finish himself.

He moved in her hard and fast, taking out his frustration of kissing another girl in their passion. He was so overtaken, at one point, Cameron cried out from what seemed to be pain, rather than pleasure, causing Chase to slow down and shower her breast and neck with kisses, as he moaned how much he loved her. As he finally came, he cried out burying his head between her breasts, and for just one moment he forgot how he betrayed the women he loved.

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End file.
